"To me, A/B testing means you don't respect your users. You see them as just one factor in your money machine that can be poked and prodded to optimize how much money you can squeeze out of them. "

Your perspective is extremely short-sighted. A/B testing can result in this type of behaviour but that's just poor A/B testing. Good A/B testing focuses on removing distractions from the experience and helping users derive more value from the product. Bad A/B testing tries to make things more discoverable, where discoverability is often just noise and distractions. Good A/B testing ensures that the money machine, as you put it, pays its dues to users by making the product experience delightful.