I unironically agree with basically everything you've said, which makes your sarcasm hard to parse for me.
Solar and lithium batteries are currently forecast to supply a big chunk of the world's power, cheaper and more cleanly than our current options (both nuclear and fossil).
This cheap power will actually be part of the long term carbon reduction steps we'll probably need to do at some point because the transition to carbon fees and renewables was stalled for so long. Theres easier things we can do first though, like building lots of PV and using that power instead of fossil fuels.
EV charging and desalination are both good targets for demand response of renewables.
PV production is not hard to scale or carbon intense, and even if it was you'd be able to offset it against the carbon free output they produce.
Solar is cheap. Nuclear is cheaper than coal and gas, but more expensive than renewables when externalities are included. They're at the point when they're cheaper even without taking externalities into account which is important, as some people will not care about prices they are not directly paying, and other people really don't like government intervention in markets. Nuclear will never achieve this, despite actually being cheaper than fossil fuels.
We dont need nuclear. We'll probably build more globally and end up with about 10% of increased electricity demand coming from nuclear as part of the transition away from fossil fuels but we dont need it.
What we really don't need is people lying about renewables, even if hiding it behind sarcasm to make it harder to call out.