Hacker News Reader

Comment by kybernetikos | Hacker News Reader

Dear Neighbour,

Yeah yeah yeah, the cookies you made for me again last week are OK but honestly I'm sick of them. You're not getting any praise from me. Sorry dude.

I've been eating your home-made cookies for years and still can't figure out why you make them so dry. It's complete BS. All I want is a little moisture in the middle of my cookies. I do NOT understand why you have them crunchy. It makes no sense.

I have had it, and will move on from trying to understand your thinking. Your cookies used to be nice, but now they're a massive piece of garbage, maybe you should check out the cookies in a supermarket.

- Your neighbour

View on HN

Dear former Cookie Eater,

You simply needed to fill out the 12 page cookie preference form in the foyer and I would have made the cookies to your specification. I apologise for the misunderstanding, we do things differently back home in Europe.

- Yours lovingly, El Monstruo de las Galletas.

I thought they’re called biscuits over there?

You have to store the biscuits separate from your crisps, in an on-premise flat; otherwise, the GDPR bobbies will be right on your full-stack bollocks in a lorry right soon. Good on ya!

Biscuits are a specific kind of dry cookie with little flavor (and potentially a bunch of sugar on top)

Woah there. You've clearly never tried a chocolate digestive.

nice!

Edit: I realize most folks won't get that, so https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nice_biscuit

Dear Jesus,

The bread you gave me the other day is pumpernickel. I like pretzel bread. I don't understand, what were you thinking?

I have had it with you and your weak bread magic.

- Sermon attendee

---------------------------

I'm pretty sure that Jesus' reply would have been much snarkier than from the Notepad++ maintainer, who probably has a lot more to gain from being snarky in their reply than from trying to cater to this childish user's outburst.

Dear neighbor, if you wish to continue with the crunchy deliciousness I have to offer, please accept my cookie policy.

I would also recommend that the cookie-baking neighbor stop giving cookies to their annoying neighbors after years of that nonsense.

So that's why my urinal cakes have been disappearing.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com