Ask HN: The biggest mistake you have ever made?

Loved someone who, in the end, didn’t love me back. I was just an accessory in their life, and they ghosted me as soon as their circumstances changed. I had invested in the relationship at great cost to myself.

Love yourself. Set boundaries. Do no harm but take no shit. Blow toxic people out the door as soon as they reveal themselves. When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.

Keeping abusive / toxic people in my life. Nothing has opened the door to more happiness, fulfillment, and better things than learning to identify and remove them from my personal sphere.

How did you learn to identify such people? I think I have a hard time evaluating these things personally, I don't find anyone abusive/toxic. Maybe I'm just lucky?

I started with a book called "Safe People", a short, easy read which teaches both how to be a safe person and identify unsafe people and behaviors.

https://www.amazon.com/Safe-People-Relationships-Avoid-Those...

This is an excellent recommendation, thank you for putting it forth.

In life? Wasting five years and didn't get a diploma at the end. Other than that, didn't ask father's friend to teach me game programming back in the 80s.