Thank you so much for your critical feedback! I have been hoping no one would find out but you're totally on point. I have been realizing these things in myself and have been trying to figure out a better way forward. I actually really appreciate that you (and a couple of other HN users in the past) have pointed out stuff like this (it wasn't at all my intention to draw out such responses, I am just positively surprised by them and have benefited a lot from them).

That said, regarding the questions I ask, they are genuinely questions I have trouble sorting out. But I guess most of them don't have easy answers. I have benefitted greatly from responses in the past, as many of you have insights that I myself never would've thought about. Though I have to admit, the questions are getting excessive. I apologize for such behaviours and will definitely keep it in check going forward.