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> Am I being unreasonably paranoid?

No. I treat anything I buy on Amazon as a counterfeit until I can prove that it is not. Sometimes it takes a few days of research per product, intensive physical inspection, and contacting the manufacturer to check lot/serial numbers.

I'd love to delegate this onerous task. Perhaps it's a viable startup idea?

I really don’t think you’re being paranoid at all. We’ve seen countless times that even well meaning sellers who are ethical get their products mixed with unethical sellers at the Amazon warehouses. I don’t buy anything I put on or in my body, or that sits close against my body, from Amazon. Aside from that no memory cards or things like power bricks that plug into my expensive laptops.

Amazon at this point is AliExpress with a huge price Markup for like half of their products. If you wouldn't put on something straight from China you shouldn't be trusting Amazon.

There is no real control within Amazon