That really sucks. I’m sorry. I went through the same thing in my early twenties; noticed my hairline was receding, remembered that it ran in the family, and realized what was happening.
I was devastated. I really felt like I didn’t have a future anymore. I’d never thought of myself as being unusually attractive, but I was horrified at the thought of being unattractive. I became deeply depressed. It really was a period of darkness for me.
There is no such thing as a miracle cure—yet—but you have options. It’s been twenty years since I first realized I was losing my hair, but I still appear to have a full head of hair. I’m doing the following:
- Propecia (or generic Finasteride). That’s probably the most effective thing on the market right now. Might require a prescription where you are, and absolutely talk to your doctor before doing this. Side effects can include erectile dysfunction, and I’ve seen some people on forums talk about “brain fog”. I think it may have impacted my libido in the beginning, but I’m nervous, chronically single, and sexually inexperienced (hey, this is my throwaway account) so I honestly can’t tell if it really did anything. (To be clear, my lack of romantic success is not related to my hair, I’m just deeply introverted and awkward.)
- Toppik. After you try it, you won’t leave home without it. Toppik is a powder made of microfibers that stick to your hair and make it look fuller. Obviously if you’re completely bald, it won’t work, but you can be noticeably thinning and Toppik will hide that completely. (I’m not affiliated at all with the company, but I’ve been using this for two decades and it works.)
- I use Nizoral shampoo. A lot of people on forums say it helps. Can’t swear to it, but it does reduce dandruff.
- I wouldn’t be thinking about hair transplants just yet. If you are, research the *hell* out of this. There are way too many bad doctors out there. From what I’ve read, you want to avoid the Follicular Unit Transplant technique; that’s where they harvest a strip, which leaves a scar. The approach I (briefly) considered was Follicular Unit Excision (FUE), since there was less chance of scarring, but it’s been a little while since I researched this. Don’t rush into anything; if you’re not Picard-level bald yet, you likely have better options.
Also:
- I’ve realized that women really do seem less concerned with appearance than I would have thought, especially as you/they get older. I know a number of women I find attractive are with guys who are partly or completely bald. Comments like “find a hobby and just be confident”, as glib as they are, have a grain of truth to them; if you’re a decent person, have stuff you care about, and are articulate enough to make it sound interesting, your appearance might not be as much of an issue as you think it will.
- While I’m hardly an authority on fashion, the following have never failed me: dark jeans, Chuck Taylor high-tops, and an illustrated T-shirt from someplace like threadless.com. Hipster? It sure is. But at least in my experience, an ironic Star Wars illustration makes you look more interesting than something you’d wear to the gym (although I’m a web dev/designer; if you’re a banker, that might not be a good aesthetic). Yes, you can still wear this when you’re over 40.
- In short: fix the stuff you can fix. Dressing better, keeping up your appearance, and doing interesting stuff (hiking, having an online art portfolio, exploring abandoned places, etc) goes a long, long way.
- Finally, I’d say don’t lose hope. I really do believe that hair multiplication techniques and improved topical treatments are pretty close. They’ll be expensive, but I don’t think baldness is inevitable for people our age.