> commutes are shorter vs an exurb type
I'm not sure about that. People i know in NYC typically spend as much time commuting as in any other city I've known, if not more. It's a big city, and because of the nature of public transportation (or traffic) it takes a while to move across it.
NYC is also, of course, a place where office space is more expensive than most other places -- employer choices could be effecting this as much as employee choices.
But I don't disagree with your general conclusion, as a general sense of things. I don't think NYC and San Francisco are the especially driving examples though.