Ubuntu is a failure

I don't think that's true.

Ubuntu does manage to install itself on pretty much almost any desktop.

That's quite an accomplishment. Remember the Debian install horror stories? That's pretty much history now.

The ubuntu orange and purple makes NASCAR race days look tasteful and understated though. I spend my release days at the Kubuntu table now.

While I upvoted, I think ubuntu is not a failure, it is just "good enough". Personally, that is the path to success that microsoft did a good job at. "perfect" is what Apple is striving for, but that's a different approach altogether.