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Apple isn't doing code reviews or regression testing, that's for sure.

The process is in place to make sure that your app is doing what it is supposed to do and is not using any private APIs and stuff like that.

You do not submit your code to Apple. They do run some automated scans on your binary for calls to undocumented API's, and they do run your app and check for certain issues that are important to Apple. It's an approval process, not a testing process.

Again, I haven't touched an iPhone in my life, but this was the reason I've heard apps in Apple's App Store is better than apps in Android's App Store. There could be other reasons, but I thought it had to do with Apple's involvement.

Keep downvoting me; I don't care. I'm asking honest (and I guess dumb) questions.

Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. Times two if its a blog post about a rejected app.

They definitely usually check if the app works as intended or not or at least they do for the Mac App Store.