It's not that I can't fathom the general case you describe.

A specific example: A rape victim is obviously traumatized by being raped and does not want to carry her aggressors child to term. In that case the enemy is inside her.

It's the same in war. The single most important thing I learned from my grandfather and his time in WWII was that the individual combatants are not evil, or bad, they're following orders of bad, evil leaders. In war the poor foot soldier in front of your rifle is not the enemy, they are the same as you.

I'm not comparing enemies in war to babies. I'm pointing out the nuanced humanity of it all and highlighting synergies or disconnects in our thinking around these complex, human subjects.