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Comment by lumost | Hacker News Reader

I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past. At least if you go to a bar/concert/activity you may have fun and make plutonic friends, messaging random people on a dating site seems much more depressing.

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> I do wonder if the act of dating has gotten substantially less fun than it was in the past

I wonder if people are simply more selective about what they want in a partner.

Which sort of lines up with the polarisation we see in other aspects of society.

And so they go into dating with much higher expectations and less open-mindedness.

possibly related. When you are forced to look at someones data sheet to decide on them rather than see them in public being themselves - it seems natural to get sucked into coming up with check-lists on a bunch of qualities you otherwise would not have actually cared about as a means of simplifying your choosing process

> plutonic friends

Did you mean "Platonic friends"?

Although it sounds kinda nice to have Plutonic friends as well, since they'd have yachts and what not.

Surely plutonic friends would have superpowers and not be the rich tech heavy kind of superhero???

If you marry a plutonic friend, you can start a nuclear family unit.

I was thinking that you’d reach new horizons.

Oh, I thought it meant friends from the planet Pluto.

It's a very long distance friend who lives as far as Pluto :-)

It is very un fun, one of the big things I've noticed is online dating is very different experience for men and women. Both have their negatives and positives, but it create a weird dynamic of how people date.

Life in general is very different for people with different genders. Especially if they are considered conventionally attractive.

I think it is more than fair to just say men have it worse in regards to online dating.

I can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate men is a great time.

You seriously can't imagine being bombarded with messages from horny and desperate women is a great time? That having hundreds if not thousands to choose from is a grea time?

It's better than nothing? And from what I can tell there is usually a handful of good dates in the massive pile, and it's not too hard to find them. But then (as a woman) you could just not bother and go to a bar.

That sounds dreadful.

I suspect extremely few straight men would agree with you.

I'm not straight or a man, or a woman, and I was basing that on actual, real women I've talked to about their experiences with dating apps. It's a miserable experience.

sounds great from a man's perspective, but when it's your whole life gets awful pretty quick

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