I have autism and adhd and I am trans and queer and plural and in the last few years I have been able to trace nearly everything that I struggle with to themes that have been passed on throughout my family for generations.

The cycle continues until someone breaks the cycle. I see how autism runs in my family. I see how my mother's early life trauma during and around childbirth directly contributed to my general sense of "life isn't safe".

For a long time I just kinda floated through life feeling vaguely existentially anxious. Learning about the struggles of my parents and extended family has helped me to release resentment, since I can see exactly why everything happened, how everyone was doing their best, and yet things happened anyway.

I have the best and worst traits of my parents, and increasingly it feels like the only thing to do is to thank my parents for the good they did for me and forgive the bad that they did to me without even realizing that they were doing bad to me.

All beings are the heirs of their own karma, but heck parenting is HARD yo. Happy fathers day to all the fathers who do their best even if it doesn't always go exactly the way it was planned.