AI Wrote and Performed a Jerry Seinfeld Routine [video]
youtube.com
youtube.com
> A Jerry Seinfeld routine about cats.
> Why do cats always land on their feet? I've never seen a cat land on its feet. They don't; they land on you.
> I was at my friend's house the other day, and his cat was walking across the room. And I said to him, "How does that cat always land on its feet?" And he said, "Well, it's because they're lighter than air."
> And I said, "No, it's because they've got nine lives."
> And he said, "No, it's because they're lighter than air."
> And I said, "No, it's because they've got nine lives."
> And he said, "No, it's because they're lighter than air."
> And I said, "No, it's because they've got nine lives."
And then it just repeated those last two lines until my browser crashed. It cost me about a quarter.
It just dawned on me how disruptive this tech is. If you think we are drowning in a sea of shitty content now, just wait until this type of thing is deployed on demand and at scale into people's feeds.
This actually had me laughing which equals a dopamine hit. I can easily see people endlessly watching rapid fire equivalents of this in a hypothetical future TikTok ursurper.
South India averages 4 movies a week. Each movie has like 5 songs. So in a year you need lyrics for atleast 1000 songs. Sure, lyricists are creative artists, but not that creative. So you hear a lot of catchy songs which have some AI input. Here’s a song with 45 million views - I don’t think a human wrote all of it because it’s mostly garbage, but very catchy, so most likely AI augmented. https://youtu.be/MJmxdlCtFWU
Only an AI would write something like - 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2, i love u 2 really i love u 2.
I suspect it is not AI produced and simply a simple song.
The time taken to perform a song doesn't have to be much.
edit: that being said, the choreography probably took 50x as much work as the song.
A B C It's as easy as 1 2 3 A B C A B C You and me!
Or this gem:
A E A E I O U you and sometimes Why!
Both songs were hits.
10 19 40 45 58 25
Or:
20 36 53 56 69 16
Both worth several hundred million dollars.
like (Da Da Da - Trio - 1981) -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oef68YabD0
(I dread to think what a Sam Kinison AI would be like)
Again and again, year after year, until you've mastered the interaction.
It would be such a force for good in the world that Disney should allow it to be used for free like Volvo did with their patent for the three-point seat belt.
How do we know GPT-3 really wrote this?
Here's what I got for "A Jerry Seinfeld routine about Datasette." (my open source project). Note that the "." is important - without it, GPT-3 tried to generate me a README file for a new Datasette plugin instead.
Jerry:
Hey, have you ever heard of this new website called Datasette?
George:
No, what is it?
Jerry:
Well, it's basically a way to store and share data sets.
George:
Huh. Sounds kind of boring.
Jerry:
Yeah, I know. But it's actually really useful. For example, say you wanted to find out how many people in your city use the same first name as you.
George:
Why would I want to know that?
Jerry:
I don't know. But with Datasette, you could easily find out.
George:
Really? That sounds kind of useful.
Jerry:
Yeah, it's actually really handy for all sorts of things. So if you ever need to find out anything about a data set, Datasette is the place to go.
Another instance of the lack of memory.
Why would I want? Kind of useful…
Not that it is not impressive but that would not get a pass anywhere.
It does not apply to standup comedy.
i.e. It's not Seinfeld, it's an improv guy who you just asked to "Do Seinfeld."
This is the kind of anthropomorphism that I'm consistently surprised to read from people with a technical background.
It could seem like anthropomorphism if you don't think about it, but it's not anthropomorphism to say robots walk just because humans also walk.
> …it's not anthropomorphism to say robots walk just because humans also walk.
But it is to say that robots "do improv". Could GPT-3 mimic something that looks like improv by remixing an enormous corpus of human-created improv? Certainly not well, as we've all seen in non-cherry-picked GPT-3 output.
Excited and scared to see where this tech is going to be in 10 years.
What will the world be like with computer-generated novels and screenplays?
This seems to fall right into the uncanny valley.
That's a really great punchline.
To me it sounded "haha that's weird" not "haha that's funny."
The difference is that GPT-3 produces all kinds of hacky content based on other people's material at scale, producing an invasive species of an impossible-to-control faux-written content. It's all fun and shitty Seinfeld routines now, but GPT-X will make it impossible to find non-computer-generated content on search indexes by 2030.
In contrast, comedians and comedy nerds know who the joke-stealing hacks are (e.g. "Carlos Men-Steal-ia"), and the splash damage is limited.
- it can be very good at mimicking narrative styles
- it is good at close range context, what might be (uncharitably) described as "autocomplete on steroids"
- it doesn't understand overall structure
That last one is the contrarian bit, but I think it's absolutely true. Context gives some structure to generated text, but the longer the generated text runs the closer it gets to falling apart. Nothing we have now is remotely good enough to pull off things like "here is something planted in chapter two that will be referenced in chapters eight and fifteen and finally pay off in the climax in chapter twenty-five".
And I don't think this is just a matter of iterating on the current models; at some point this requires an understanding and application of story construction rules, of act structure, of character, that seems fundamentally incompatible with the way neural network-based machine learning currently works. If you feed a bunch of screenplays into an ML model, it can generate text in that style, but it's not going to write what we would consider a good screenplay. If you feed a screenwriting textbooks into that same model, it won't help, because it doesn't have the ability to interpret those as structural guidelines for writing entirely unrelated texts.
I'm just saying that if we are about to use "AI" for all kinds of increasingly disturbing and dystopian purposes, at least I want to get a second season of Gravity out of it.
Slightly-less snarky answer: If you find that question interesting, you'll probably enjoy reading Infinite Jest.
If it is real, I'm actually a somewhat frightened.
--
Cats are weird. They're like little old men in furry suits. Have you ever seen a cat drink? They stick their tongue in the bowl, and they just go "Nyahhh." It's like they're not even trying. Dogs are different. Dogs are eager to please. They're always happy to see you, they wag their tails, they bring you a stick. They're like, "Hey, look what I found! Isn't this great?" Cats are like, "Eh, what do you want?"
--
Why does it seem like every time you meet somebody, they're either a cat person or a dog person? What is that all about? You ever meet somebody and they're like, "I'm not really a cat person or a dog person, I'm more of a snake person." Never. You're either a cat person or a dog person. And I've never met a cat person who's also a dog person. Have you? It's always one or the other. It's very rare. In fact, I've never even met a cat person who's also a human person. They don't seem to like us very much, do they?
--
What's the deal with cats? I don't get it. They're so cute when they're kittens, but then they just turn into these lazy, aloof creatures that don't do anything. Just lay around all day, sleep all day. And they're always like, "I'm not really in the mood." "I don't really feel like it." "I'm not really in the mood for this." What are they in the mood for? What do they want? Nobody knows. Not even the cats. They don't know what they want. They're just like, "I'll know it when I see it."
Would be interested, how did you expand the prompt?
Lol spend some time in Florida for a while.
I remember this cat because I improvised a similar comedy bit for him in the comments. Like "Humans, huh? You never see them hunt or fish, but they have all this meat just lying around!"
This audio was like using Seinfeld's unconscious body as a puppet.
It sounds like Uncanny Valley Seinfeld. Almost like him. But not really.
INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT
GEORGE: Somebody hacked my apes. They’re all gone.
JERRY: All gone?
GEORGE: Every single one! Funged!
JERRY: You can’t just funge a man’s ape!
GEORGE: That’s society for you - people are sick!
[KRAMER enters smoking a cigar in an ape costume]
GEORGE: What the fuck Kramer - are you smoking my ape?
JERRY: Give him back his NFT! He needs it to gain entry to the Vladimir Club for the big Cryptoland party tonight.
[KRAMER spits out a mouthful of smoke]
KRAMER: What party?
JERRY: The Cryptoland party.
KRAMER: I can’t go to the Cryptoland party.
JERRY: Why not?
KRAMER: I’m wearing an ape.
JERRY: Well take the ape off.
KRAMER: No, I can’t take him off. I’ve been wearing him for days.
JERRY: How many days?
KRAMER: A long time.
GEORGE: A few days?
KRAMER: Yeah, a few days.
JERRY: It’s those damn NFTs.
GEORGE: No, no. I’ve been wearing my ape for days too.
KRAMER: Really?
GEORGE: Yeah.
KRAMER: Well, why didn’t you say something?
GEORGE: I was embarrassed.
JERRY: We need to get those NFTs off these guys.
GEORGE: Yeah, well you’re not going to have much luck with a knife and a can opener.
JERRY: We’re gonna have to cut them off.
GEORGE: There’s no other way?
JERRY: Well they are basically a thin elastic material. I’m sure they can be stretched over a pair of scissors.
GEORGE: All right.
JERRY: All right.
[JERRY and GEORGE hold KRAMER’S arms down on the table while JERRY sneaks the scissors up behind KRAMER’S NFT]
JERRY: Okay Kramer. Here we go. One, two, three.
[JERRY quickly cuts KRAMER’S NFT off]
JERRY: There it is.
KRAMER: Oh, thank you. My ape. You saved my ape.
GEORGE: Yeah, you’re welcome.
KRAMER: Oh my ape.
[KRAMER puts the NFT on his head]
JERRY: No Kramer!
[JERRY and GEORGE quickly pull KRAMER’S NFT off]
JERRY: Oh my god.
[JERRY and GEORGE are holding KRAMER’S NFT in their hands and it is stained with blood]
JERRY: He cut the poor thing right in half.
GEORGE: I doubt we’re going to find anyone who can sew it back together.
JERRY: He’s just gonna have to go to the party with no NFT.
GEORGE: What are you talking about?
JERRY: The party.
GEORGE: The party.
JERRY: The Cryptoland party.
KRAMER: I’m going to the Cryptoland party?
JERRY: Oh yeah.
GEORGE: Yeah.
KRAMER: Oh yes.
GEORGE: You’re really going, huh?
KRAMER: Yeah.
GEORGE: Well listen Kramer, in order to get into the club, you have to have an approved ape.
KRAMER: What?
GEORGE: See, the Vladimir Club is a very exclusive private club for people who have a funged ape.
KRAMER: I don’t understand.
JERRY: What George is trying to say is, if you want to go to the Cryptoland party, you’re gonna need a new ape.
KRAMER: I see.
GEORGE: You’re gonna need a new ape.
KRAMER: I see.
GEORGE: You’re gonna need a new ape.
KRAMER: I see.
GEORGE: You’re gonna need a new ape.
KRAMER: I see.
GEORGE: You’re gonna need a new ape.
KRAMER: I see.