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Comment by rockbruno | Hacker News Reader

>I feel like we are destroying our planet, destroying our economy, we make poor people poorer, stir political extremes, we alienate the younger generation with social medias, there is war in Europe, everything is about politics when it should be about science and people...

I think my opinion is unpopular, but it shouldn't be, and perhaps the fact that it's unpopular is part of the reason why so many people find themselves in this situation.

It sounds like you need to speak to a professional and go to therapy. You're putting too much pressure into things that are completely outside of your control, and part of living a healthy live is accepting that you cannot control the universe and learning how to detach yourself from these issues.

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Your opinion might be unpopular but it shouldn't be. I'm quite well off, have friends, an overall good life, but at the same time was a miserable sack of shit.

Until I talked to a therapist. Initially we spoke every week, now I talk to her about once a month. We talk about everything. What bothers me at work. What bothers me in the world. Things that are going well. Things that are unfair. And she's an impartial advisor on how I can handle and deal with my feelings.

Going to a therapist has turned my life around for the better, and I feel dumb for not going earlier.

If we break our bones we visit a doctor. If our teeth hurt we visit a dentist. And similarly when we feel depressed we should talk to a therapist.

I hope OP finds the help he needs.

>If we break our bones we visit a doctor. If our teeth hurt we visit a dentist.

Depends on your health insurance, financial standing and free time. If you're an affluent tech worker you probably would go to a dentist for a toothache. Most people I know would not.

I wouldn't compare mental health to broken bones. We've been successfully treating broken bones for thousands of years. Seeking treatment for depression or generalized anxiety is more similar to seeing a doctor for some poorly understood malady like ME/CFS or IBS. No one really understands what's going on or why. You might try some medication or treatment and it might work, do nothing or make things worse.

It's worth a try but it's not a silver bullet. If your life sucks and your future prospects are bad then therapy is really just helping you cope.

You’re missing his point. He’s making an appeal to see someone trained to help someone having a mental health related issue. This would be in opposition to simply talking to friends and family or balling it up inside.

Your comments about income inequality are valid but the OP stated he has sufficient income that he should be able to find help. My benefits package pays for a dozen therapy sessions and the rest are $25 each. Ironically my company doesn’t provide dental insurance. Apparently being an affluent tech worker means you don’t need to have working teeth ;).

You are right on all points, but please ask yourself if the contrarian details really detract from the main message. I'd argue not.

And, to be clear, "Helping you cope" is so extremely powerful and is essentially the point of therapy, most religions, and all major life philosophies. Coping skills are the foundation of solid mental health and long-term happiness.

> Seeking treatment for depression or generalized anxiety is more similar to seeing a doctor for some poorly understood malady like ME/CFS or IBS. No one really understands what's going on or why

You're not wrong, but we gotta start somewhere.

> You're putting too much pressure into things that are completely outside of your control

Here’s the thing, they’re not! There’s multiple things you can do here. One is that you can choose your battles. Part of life is accepting that you can’t fix everything, or even devote all your effort into it. That isn’t to say “just give up”, it’s more that you should find the best thing an average consumer can do here and just do that. Vote. Eat vegan. Donate to Ukraine. Whatever it is.

But, one thing you can do is dedicate an above-average amount of effort into a few things you really care about. A lot of people find this to be a good way to find fulfillment, perhaps it might work here too. You can’t make your impact on everything but you can definitely aim towards fixing something.

Saving the planet is outside of your control. Caring for it is not.

This is the way.

The OP may be suffering from an anxiety disorder. A therapist is a good first step to getting it identified and start getting it treated.

> It sounds like you need to speak to a professional and go to therapy. You're putting too much pressure into things that are completely outside of your control, and part of living a healthy live is accepting that you cannot control the universe and learning how to detach yourself from these issues.

It is so funny how thinks matter so little... the things that we as humans put so much weight in. I used to worry so much about work, life, dying in a plane accident (I got nervous everytime I flew). And yet... I got COVID and really fucked me up (even though I am no overweight, have no comorbidities, etc etc... healthy 40 yo adult). As a result of the Covid and AZ vaccines I got an ischemic stroke. Just like that. That has really changed my view of life, now work doesn't matter that much, and my priorities have changed a ton. I still do my job happily and what I do excites me. But you bet I won't be spending the time and effort I spent about 10 years ago when I took a startup from 6 people to Series B. My health (me), family (wife) and extended family (dad, mom, brother) are my main priorities now. And of course, enjoying life.

There are so many things out of our control that shouldn't worry us, and normally the things that matter and that we can control, we decide to let them slide.

I don't think it's unpopular.

Not sure if you enhance the stigma by writing this though.

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