Background on me: I am French, I've been living in the Bay Area for the past 14 years, a 2-year old and another on the way, we are recent home owners and grandma lives and helps us every day.

California is expensive. The Bay Area where you'd find high paying jobs is even more expensive. Rent is expensive, home ownership is nearly inaccessible, cost of daycare and healthcare is high, great schools are expensive and taxes are high.

I didn't do the exact math but to give you a ballpark, for us to live well, eat well, save for the future and travel (ski trips or visit family in France), we'd need to earn a combined yearly salary of over $300,000. I think for a household with 2 parents working as SWE it's doable.

That said, based on seniority, your household could probably reach over $200,000 working from Bavaria.

I frequently think about going back but our decision is mostly a factor of the kids growing up around family, in an environment that's empowering them and with great weather. Rain and green pasture sure is pretty but I prefer the sun.