Yep, I've tried Intellij several times over the past 5-6 years, but I've never really had an experience I liked. It's interesting that you mention SFTP and remote server deploys as a pain point for you in VS Code, because I've actually had a huge amount of frustration trying to do development over SSH in Intellij.. As of Intellij 2021 edition, I was completely unable to get ssh working from my work laptop to an EC2 instance; it could not parse my `~/.ssh/config`, and manually putting in the username, hostname, path to the private key, and even port 22 (because it literally required putting the port manually rather than defaulting to 22 unless stated otherwise), it would just say it failed to connect. The 2022 version has a "remote ssh" beta feature which also required manually putting in info that I felt like it should just be able to parse from my ssh config file, but it did connect and work for a week or two. One day it randomly started disconnecting a few seconds into loading a file continuously, which made it impossible to even scroll down into the file before it just zoomed me back up to the top. I gave up on it and just decided to stick with VS code for everything rather than try to get Intellij to work for the small amount of Java code I occasionally have to write.
Setting up ssh development with VS Code, on the other hand, was a breeze. The first plugin that came up when I searched "ssh" was Microsoft's own for ssh development, and running the command to connect to a server after installing it popped up with a list of my servers parsed from my ~/.ssh/config, which I could just select and it would connect (or prompt for a password if the ssh key required one). From there, I could easily open any project on my remote server, and VS Code even was able to detect which plugins I had installed for use with the project needed to be installed server-side rather than locally (e.g. the `rust-analyzer` plugin was installed remotely since it needed to run the daemon on the machine where the code existed). When I close my VS code window, shut down my laptop, and then the next day boot it up and open VS code, it still has the same files opened to the exact same spot (compared to Intellij's "scroll to the top of a file on connection" I mentioned before). I'm sure there are ways to get Intellij to work like I'd want, and I'm by no means a fan of Microsoft in general (I avoid Windows whenever possible and overall have a pretty negative opinion of them), but VS Code just absolutely nails the UX I want in an editor without needing that much custom configuration compared to what I've tried in the past with emacs/vim.