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Have you tried enabling "Use the new virtualization framework" in experimental features? This removed the background CPU usage for me.

Try out Colima with the experimental 9p mount type. Network performance is improving. It's as good as it will likely get on the platform.

I have a M1 Macbook Pro with 16 GB RAM, and qemu ballons in RAM when I try to stand up our backend microservice stack locally - it uses RAM until there's none left, and falls over. My teammates running Linux report ~30mb of RAM usage by the Docker processes to run the same containers.

Vagrant solved most of my problems. Docker Desktop was unusable to me as well.