This is, honestly, why I'm focusing my children on Nintendo products. They do sometimes charge for skins, but by and large they don't succumb to the same "pay me to play" traps as other platforms.
[1]: Niantic for Pokémon Go, DeNA for Mario Kart Tour.
[2]: Nintendo is bound to have the final say.
[3]: For now?
FromSoftware is another bastion of hope. The popularity of Elden Ring is no coincidence.
BTW gamer community is fucked up and people will judge each other on every single detail so you are not far off.
All the games are ad free and IAP free.
Even with Amazon Kids, though, the games are still their free to play selves without purchases, so I still see these games where dopamine hits (get coins!) are a main mechanic :(