Quitting Twitter? What People Say About Life After Social Media

Agreed, I just unfollowed absolutely everyone except very close people, and a group I'm involved in. This way my feed doesn't have much to scroll through, so it isn't addictive to look at.

> . It may seem like these are low-value connections, and many people here will suggest that they are, but you should carefully consider for yourself whether you want to nuke that bridge.

I've had people here literally try to gaslight me about this as if they know more about my relationships than I do. They don't realize that certain apps are the entire internet for very large portions of entire countries... or that other methods would just have way too much friction to keep in contact with all the exchange students I know around the world... Explaining this, they then try to tell me my relationships just aren't that important to me or as deep as I think :)

Hacker News isn't a social media site. It's a user-submitted news site that has a comment section, not a place to build connections with other users. Any networking that happens on this site have to take place using means beyond the site.

Also, why would you delete your Facebook account without having another way to contact the people on there that you do care about interacting with? You should at least have email addresses, phone numbers, real addresses, or whatever else in a personal contact list.

I've come to the same conclusion, especially with HN being a timesuck. Not a bad timesuck, but it very much does contribute to a dopamine feedback addiction loop for me. I'm glad it's here, than, Facebook, but yes.

There's also a part of society that does require Facebook and other Meta properties, unfortunately. While I deleted all friends and purged my facebook of real material - I use it for marketplace listings and groups which give it considerable value and insight.

I would argue that breaking the loops and addiction is a solid first step, disable notifications and delete the native apps - and apply/increase friction to use the platform e.g. for facebook access it only via the mobile interface.

> Do not quite social media just because fellow HN users convinced you to. Think it through.

I think the larger lesson here is "don't take advice from random strangers on the internet".

> reconnecting is a hassle when you nuke your entire friend list

Why? Deleting your account doesn't mean deleting your friend list backup. I've deleted my FB account many (6?) years ago, I am not missing it at all, but I still have screenshots of my friend list, if I felt urge to connect with these people it would be matter of few minutes to send them requests (it's not very extensive list, maybe 50 people).

Same reason why I didn't DELETE my LinkedIn account, but it's FROZEN with montly reminder from Linkedin.

I'm always surprised how impulsive and lacking self control are some of the HN users, I'd expect better from tech community.

something tells me Zuck is ironically one of those parents who is very strict about screen time with his kids.

Small fish probably also don't feel so small in an aquarium vs. the ocean. I tend to agree, walled gardens and echo chambers are a natural consequence of everyone finding their tribes.

I wonder if something like a social IoT device could get traction? Ie sell people something like another router that lets them have their own profile hosted only there and accessible only through others peoples devices after a “handshake” of sorts?

> people are craving serotonin

You think people are craving to be passified? That would be contrary to any social media, or interaction on the web entirely.

In a way, Zuckerberg predicted your take years ago. He saw the writing on the wall regarding the many issues of having an enormous public town square and the "share everything" mindset, and opted for more pocketed communities.

If we're being honest here, the center of gravity regarding dopamine is Twitter. I spotted a fascinating effect regarding people "threatening" to leave Twitter as they're tired of all the rage. Most of course never even attempt to leave, but those that do may give Mastodon a try.

At Mastodon, they create a fresh little sub community and move over their Twitter bubble the best they can.

Now things get interesting. Crickets. As it turns out, the only thing that held the bubble together is a common enemy. There is no enemy in the new bubble that only has friends. Worse, not even the friends turn out to be friends. None give a single fuck about the other, and would be absolutely fine not ever hearing a single word from you ever again. They were just liking your opinion against another opinion to which they also disagreed. That was all.

For the true hardcore Twitter addict, their entire existence and identity is effectively wiped out when you take away the rage. Hates gave them status, and being happy is the worst thing that can happen to them.

I spend quite a bit of time forming bonds/relationships with people on the fediverse (not all of the instances are garbage full of crazed lunatics) and it took over a year of looking for the right fit, but once I did, I haven't thought of leaving that community, even through times where my account is dormant for a period (as it's easier to take breaks). I only really interact with less then 20 people and I probably have 70 followers.

This has improved my mental and emotional health ever since i met these people, they are real, and like me they don't say things or do things for attention; as you would go to quite literally any other social structure for those things. The "open" nature intertwined with these "islands" of people creates for a really cool social experience.

Easily the best I've had online since most of the forums I used to be a part of have died. If you need someone to bounce things off of, just DM them; they are real and they won't post screenshots of your interaction two years later. Obviously that's not true for every instance, and it's not true for every person, but you have a higher likelihood of finding people you can genuinely care about even if they don't live in your area, and the only thing that unites you is the general dislike for people, but the begrudging realization that we need each other.

> I've observed people are craving serotonin as a result.

This statement is very interesting and I would like it if you expanded and clarified what you're talking about here. I'm not trying to debunk you or anything and I think I get it, but it's a pretty wild thing to say without giving more details and I would really enjoy it if you expanded on this sentence.

Hey, I have been obsessed with this problem for around this for around 2 years - trying to create the “operating system” for interests. We’re still early but softlaunched 2 months ago and are at around 1 million downloads. If you want to chat, email me at nico@picnic.zone

How are you blocking those sites? Like you, I keep overriding every local “strategy” I try. I've blocked _some_ websites through the hosts file, but I sometimes need Twitter for non time wasting reasons.

Maybe that was just your bubble? The main thing I do on Twitter these days is joke with mutuals (and it used to be arguing with people.)

My problem with Twitter is 1) it’s a huge time sink that trickles out dopamine, and 2) I rarely feel better about anything after sinking time into it.

Here for one thing. I have seen a lot of posts about quitting Twitter, Facebook etc.

On outrage: I'd be worried about where that aggression would be directed without twitter as the whipping boy. It seems as if those that are most persistently caustic derive from twitter a sense of regaining control, and a fleeting ability to internally re-balance their lack of power they experience IRL

> I just wish some ppl could figure out how to send text messages again.

How about you send the message? Everyone I see complaining that they lose contact with their friends are not making any effort to stay in contact (myself included).

Considering just how important social media has been in the last few years, I don't see how suggesting people should quit social media is silly. The US has had a president who largely communicated with his constituents through Twitter (one-way as that communication may have been), celebrities get their careers re-ignited because Twitter rallies behind them, influencers are... a thing?, social media management is a full-on career for people!

At this stage, the world is actually quite stuck with social media and, honestly, I can really believe that something as seemingly minor as quitting Twitter can change someone's demeanor, quality of life and so on. Social media is a bloody juggernaut, sometimes it's best to move out of the way.

> Seeing people frame not using a website as something massively life altering change says a lot about social media in general.

No, it says a lot about those people.

No, it says a lot about Twitter specifically. "Social media" is a fake category; Twitter's toxicity is not the same as other places.

> Seeing people frame not using a website

Most likely the sentiment is about app. A Web site doesn’t send notifications to drag you back in.

Switching from app to a web site exclusively on desktop would probably go a long way for many.

Now if we could only get rid of linkedin...

Same here. I've been off for about a month now. In twitter detox, mostly feeling a lot better. Now I'm wondering why everyone thinks they need an audience all the time? We didn't feel that way prior to the advent of social media (so what, around 2006 or so?). How did they manage to change our culture so much that now everyone thinks they're entitled to some kind of platform where followers should pay attention to what you have to say everyday? Nobody thought that way in the early 2000s and then all of the sudden they did. It's really kind of bizarre when you get off of social media and think about this. When you leave people are kind of scared for you like "oh, what will you do without social media, you'll become disconnected" but I never expected to be "connected" prior to social media, why should I be afraid of it now?

Its worse when even the video games don't activate you....

Abstractions don't do anything for me. I like being in a lit room, watching Netflix. But when I don't, I just use data.

It is WSJ's equivalent of clickbait. What, did you think they were immune or too highbrow?

Because alcohol has been around for thousands of years, theater for thousands of years, video games for half a century and super addictive social media for less than 20.

Any time a big change happens to people's daily experience I think it's reasonable and good to have a lot of reflection on if that change is good or bad and what should be done.

It's similar to a graduate with 6 months of work experience posting a Medium article "12 reasons why I quit Netflix".

I don't mind and I think when people post about it, even if the blogs are like reading someone's dream journal (boring, aspirational, confusing, etc) in aggregate I think the posts produce kind of useful metrics about what's going on in the heads of people quitting the media.

For some perspective, the type of person that is going to make a blog post about quitting social media was likely "highly online" in social media spaces and probably doesn't even fully understand the ingrained models of personal disclosure (almost no one does well as the problem is so new) that they realized was unsustainable that lead to them now quitting so they cope by making a blog post. It's ironic and more than a little bit funny.

It's like when someone is new to Alcoholics Anonymous because of legal issues, losing a job, or a partner leaving and they get to step 4 "Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves." and write it all down and then they instantly hit steps 8, 9, 10.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

A drunk would give you a 2AM white knuckled call you don't care about for when they ripped you off 10 years ago, but the action of those steps is the same thing as the drug. I'm not an AA guy or anything but it's a relatable model. If anyone reading is struggling with substance or social media addiction check out SmartRecovery.org for rational group recovery.

So I guess my take on the phenomena of the "I'm leaving" post is that they are the rattles of a person trying to change but the well worn paths to change (steps 4, 8, 9, and 10) are basically the user's DoC (Drug of Choice).

Sure, the posts are self indulgent and suck, but what else do you expect from someone operating with a serious dopamine imbalance?

To answer your question though, it is definitely not "mundane as fuck" to them. One's too many, ten's not enough. Yes, it is the same thing and I gather that you don't likely suffer from it in this context. I think we can all agree that you can just not read their posts

Posts like this even if their content isn't profound or even that novel, that person is working to be a better person and tried to work out their feelings by putting pen to page and yelling into the void.

Your question here is what a lot of people are thinking though and it's a valid question. I'm not trying to cast shade on you at all. Without you asking this question I wouldn't have been able to think about this stuff. Dopamine management is important to a life lived consciously. How we get off differs in a rainbow for each person. Hopefully our discussion here helps someone out in the future. It's basically impossible that it has zero effect.

Cheers.

I can definitely think of at least one other social media site you have an account on!

They can't be having a better day than you if they don't exist

"Los de afuera son de palo"

- Obdulio Varela -

*pretending to have a better day.

Might not work for everyone, but I use it as motivation: I should make sure I schedule a catch-up with friends too, I should take advantage of good weather to go out and do something, I should go on a holiday myself.

Good observation that is often missed.

The teenagers I know do not post in any "public square" style social networks at all. They avoid Facebook and Twitter entirely.

Twitter is mostly for people in their 30s and 40s.

As far as I’m concerned, you used Twitter correctly. From what I can tell by browsing, enabling people to tell other people where to shove it is the platform’s raison d’être.

What do you mean "what have they done lately?" I guess you could go over to lobsters if you're looking for a more heavily moderated/focused tech disussion website. But eventually they'll reach eternal september too.