your premise is that it's not being sold right but maybe you just need more people to give their perspective. I might be considered a research software engineer in the US. In my job, I get paid (well) to develop open source software for data visualization, and I work remotely. I get to maintain existing tools and develop new ones. there is an interesting global community that asks questions daily, and I am constantly learning. I'm not working under the thumb of overbearing people, just delivering results and contributing to new grant goals to continue the funding. these positions are not necessarily common, but are interesting and cool.