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> This is really good advice - for externalizers. For internalizers however, it is perfectly terrible

I wish I could upvote you 10 times.

The "don't feel like a victim" advice is a very dangerous when a person really is a victim and needs to get away from an aggressor.

Besides, advice that works very well for 50% (or even 90%) of the population and harm the others is terrible advice. We need nuance.

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feeling like a victim and being a victim are different concepts. the latter is reality, the former is a feeling, and how you deal with it. to me feeling like a victim implies that i can't change my situation. which exactly means that i feel that i can't get away from the aggressor. in order to get away from that i need to not feel like a victim, but take responsibility to better my situation by getting away.

at least that is how i read the article.

> The "don't feel like a victim" advice is a very dangerous when a person really is a victim and needs to get away from an aggressor.

Did you even read the article?

By not feeling like a victim, you own your problem, and this enables you to solve it. In this case, by getting away from the aggressor.

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