well, let's be honest here: some of this is legitimate due to the nature of those frameworks, not necessarily sqlite. If you deploy a rails app with 8 process workers powered by a sqlite db even on a single host you're going to have database locking problems.

You have to be able to architect your application to send all write traffic to a single process and have a language that can keep up with your database while doing that. There are "better" architectures for this stuff now that will enable that which have come together in the last few years, and a resurgence in smaller indie projects willing to deploy sqlite on servers and do weird cool things like this fiddle or datasette