Rebuttal to "A hacker's loneliness" / Part II | Hacker News Reader

Rebuttal to "A hacker's loneliness" / Part II

10 pointsomarish8 comments

You guys realize that getting laid and writing good code and loving what you do are not mutually exclusive.

Just like how you taught yourself code, go learn to dress well. Learn how to be interesting. Learn to be the norm; there's no shame in that.

Talk about what you love. Have passion. It's really not that hard.

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Getting laid and being lonely aren't mutually exclusive either.

Don't learn how to be interesting, learn how to be interested. Don't learn to be the norm, learn to appreciate others.

Don't talk about what you love, ask about what they love and share what you think might interest them. Discover their passions.

If you want good company, you have to be good company.

Having passion about your interests is a great thing, but it's important to be able to relate to other people, and monomania is often pretty insulating. Steve Buscemi's character Seymour in the movie Ghost World comes to mind: Enid asks him what his interests are, and after a bunch of buzzwords about musical categories that I don't remember, she says, "Ok, let's just say, 'music'. What else?"

I'm very interested in programming, but I also really like to cook, bicycling, and several other things, and find those are usually easier for people to relate to. Maybe you like to write, or skateboard, or you love paintball, or have a growing interest in photography, or something. An interest in programming and being able to have a social life are in no way contradictory. (Seemingly unrelated interests also tend to cross-pollinate.)

Also, let's please not fill up the front page with rebuttals to rebuttals to rebuttals.

Post this as a comment in the other rebuttal, it belongs there. And it's a good point.

it is however hard to be the NORM and to be PASSIONATE.

the norm is the mean, its the center of a bell curve. it would be like running around and shouting, "i love to be human," but wait,... normal people don't do that. normal people are boring.

just understand that men have certain gifts, and women have certain gifts, and each person wants to you appreciate and notice those gifts.

girlfriends want to know that you are paying attention to you, they want to know they can be crazy around you and you wont freakout, they want to know there is something stable in their life. oddly enough women seem to rather not want help with things, but rather a good set of ears, and someone that they know they can rely on, when they don't feel like they need to be so strong.

the modern women is a feminist and yet is somehow still drawn to what men have to offer, even though they can't describe it. they are strong and independent, and they seek to share an emotional tide with someone.

and most of all, they want a guy they can brag about to their friends. so, every once and a while you need to give them something to talk about.

You guys realize that human beings are social animals and any time an obsession with anything prevents you from participating an a common human activity there's going to be problems?

Wow. Is this what some people sit around thinking about?

Personally, I just "do me". The rest seems to fall into place. But that could be due to the fact I'm awesome.

You walk the walk, but do you talk the talk?

yes, actually he does.

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