All of the links and suggestions I got were basically "we run postgres for you on any platform you choose", which is essentially just reselling these platforms that I already have managed postgres on. Perhaps these businesses arent for me, or maybe im the wrong market segment, but I cant understand what value is delivered by adding more stuff between me and the thing I already have, when my gripe is the platform managing that thing to begin with.

I want to get away from digitalocean because theyre trying to do too much in too many disparate spaces, which is a feeling I hold the same for -all- of the other platforms, GCP, AWS, etc. What I guess I was assuming would exist would be a service with their own concerns, their own staff, end to end hosting some managed clusters on their own hardware.

When something breaks, I dont ever want to hear about an upstream provider unless it is an ISP or Colo, and nor should I. I want the world of service providers to take ownership of their entire stack, possibly that is not realistic in 2022.

As Im typing this, Im realizing, I need to just get my own colo cage and rack up my own hardware. Its frustrating as ever to come to this realization. I essentially want a patch monkey with a penchant for backups and resource monitoring. I dont care about elastic someshits, I dont care about cute terms for pricing units like dynos, I absolutely dont want to call for pricing (scylla, this is on you).

Its hard not to think im just completely wrong when the way i think things should be is the complete opposite of the way things are. This comment has been both cathartic and revealing.

Postgres