Once a hacker, always a hacker.
For anyone who has read J.M. Coetzee knows, he is no F. Scott Fitzgerald, the stereotypical glamorous and superfluous writer; his prose and temperament matches that of a mathematician, rational and precise but nonetheless beautiful in its own right. Without going to the emo's and my personal sob stories, I'll jump right into how I cope with dealing with loneliness and the mainstream society.
1) Learn the protocol and languages of the mainstream American society: two words. Sports and music: they may seem like the most unhackish things to do, the former an activity of "dude-bro's" and the latter the effeminate hipsters, and both the epitome of American "individualist conformity."
But if you look past the posers, they are incredibly, like hacking, creative activities. Weight-training and aerobics is by definition, pushing past your limit of endurance and strength, like a late night coding marathon: a mind game (Romo: "My body is the soldier, but my mind is the general").
Music, is by definition about pushing the envelope, coding and playing. Sampling is like googling for code snippets online, re-arranging and constructing your personal software. Practicing is like coding and going over and over the compiler error's and then tracing through the runtime errors: if you really get into it, it's addictive to get it perfect.
2) Hack the social system. The social culture of the American high school and college and yuppie's in their early 20's is very much like the wall street c(v)ulture. Women and your peers are like wall street analyst, with absolutely no regards to your underlying vision and long-term potential. But if you do not beat the next quarter earning estimate or put out a good looking short-term "balance-sheet," (but it's okay if it is faked), all hell break loose.
So sell yourself like the slickest CFO's from Lehman/Enron/WorldCom. Hackers are sometimes too grounded, wondering out aloud what frameworks and API's they should use; they are too truthful sometimes when American culture is a shallow and superficial one.
This means going to a party, approach a group of people, interrupting the dude-bro talking about "doing a keg-stand" and the hipsters talking about (un)indie bands, smile and say, "I make software that predict breast cancer susceptibility in women, that plays the most appropriate music for your current mood, and that exploit the inefficiencies in the stock market to perform algorithmic trading for maximum profit." You don't even need to go further, the people in the attendance will be pressing you for more.
But in the end, superficial women and friends (read: friends that you go out with, not friends you have deep connections) are just that: wall street analysts. Don't get too hanged up by the "short-term balance sheet," be in for the long term. And by the long term, I don't just mean: an engineering degree or a stable job, but the software that will predict cancer, recommends music and exploit the stock market - and also yes, friends who could respect and relate to who you are.
Don't sell-out, buy in. Be a hacker, go against the grain, always be exploring, sharing and not ever yielding.