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Comment by sharadov | Hacker News Reader

No, it does not bother me. I am one of those people who feels happy when something good is happening in other people's lives.

That other person who got that job put time into it and achieved it. Good for them.

Someone lost a shit ton of weight and looks ripped. That's motivation for me to lift too and eat better.

It comes down to you, are you using that as fuel to motivate you or are you seething inside and burning with envy?

I honestly believe that envy is the thief of joy and if you allow it to consume you it will destroy you.

The only people that turn me off are those folks who make political shit posts, but I don't follow them.

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> It comes down to you, are you using that as fuel to motivate you or are you seething inside and burning with envy?

> I honestly believe that envy is the thief of joy and if you allow it to consume you it will destroy you.

It's nice that you are able to do this, but most don't use social media this way. They see successful, beautiful people doing interesting things and they feel sad that they can't do the same. Can't you empathize?

So true. It's almost ironic how they mention they feel good when something good happens to someone else, but when not everyone may feel the same, then it's their problem.

"Why can't this be happening to me?" is considered envy, but "Why are you not happy for others like me?" is considered moral high ground.

(not op) Empathize yes, but I would encourage people to try as much as they possibly can to change their viewpoint from envy to joy. I think that's a healthier solution than hiding from it.

This made me think: Back in the 90s when I was a teen there were several magazines here in Mexico (ERES, Tú) and the "socials" section in the local newspaper which dedicated to show you the amazing life of socialtes and other famous (or not so famous) people. Teenage girls and boys used to buy and "read" those magazines to get up to speed on the latest gossip, but also just to see what these people were doing.

Do you think that was bad for kids those days?

I think there is a pretty key difference which is pretty obvious.

Said obvious difference being the near real-time interactive nature of social media.

compare reading a monthly magazine back then to today where it takes milliseconds to doom scroll through your unlimited, hyper-optimized for engagement “happiness highlight reel” social media newsfeed in the palm of your hand with 24/7 availability… yes it’s much much worse for kids today and both psychologically and behaviorally.

What is presented on social media is recognized as profile building by prof. Mueller, a recently developed phenomenom that he named profilicity in his book "You and your profile". I've always found all the shining social media accounts as inauthentic and distateful, but the book helped me realize how I developed profiles for myself and also how to recognize them by others. The end result: now I see the profiles just as highly currated expression of one's identity and don't stress at all about it.

I think it's normal to be happy for others. But that doesn't mean it doesn't leave us performing a little introspection with regards to our own lives.

Of which we think, why aren't I losing weight? Why aren't I getting married yet? Hmm why haven't I been able to go on a vacation yet? Oh because I might not be overly happy in my job, but I just saw my friend start what they think is their dream career.

You can be left questioning our own place when you are constantly being shown the highlights of others lives.

I too feel happy when something good happens in someone's life. I am sure a lot of people do. That is not by itself the origin of envy. So where do I look next? Once the spectacle is over - at myself of course! I see my shortcomings and from there begin the possibility for all kinds of problems and at the same time improvements in my life. What course does my mind take though? I can certainly hear the voice of resentment in my head when I see something I think is "good for them!" But I must quieten that voice and turn to what is the better approach - to improve myself. This takes effort. So no it is not as simple as you put it here. I am sure you are aware of this struggle. This is not something new.

What is new is the frequency with which one is presented with things that reproach ones sense of well-being. Are they eating better food? Living better, happier lives? Having more beautiful babies? And why?

So it is only probable that one will slip into a stupor- with so many shortcomings and so many people out there.

Hope that made sense.

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