> Going through the [...] H1B route is below me (as you're tied to an employer [...])
You aren't tied to your employer with H1B. Once you got an H1B, you can switch employers. There is only a minor amount of H1B transfer paperwork involved, but no more lottery or quotas or uncertainty about whether you are gonna get it or not.
> H1B spouses can't even get a work permit until there is an approved I-140 (Green card petition)
Sadly, this is still the case. Good news is that processing times for I-140 with H1B is currently sitting at about 1yr.
> We're just applying for the DV lottery every year
From someone whose parents went almost through the exact same process (which included that one year [iirc 2011 or 2012] when USCIS had a bug and sent the DV lottery winner email to those who didn't actually get selected, which my family fell under), I genuinely wish you the best of luck. This was extremely stressful for everyone involved, and we ended up just going through the H1B process without ever really winning the DV lottery.
And I still, to this day, have occasional nightmares of losing it all and being kicked out of the country. Which makes me scream in my sleep, and I feel really guilty for my partner being woken up by this. Happens at least once every few months, despite me being a US citizen for a while at this point. Though in my case, I think it was fueled by my extremely strong distaste for living in my country of origin (which isn't in EU), not the process of getting permanent residency in the US.
Legit, I am rooting for you, and I hope things work out in your situation, regardless of whether you get it through the DV lottery or whichever other way.