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Your idea for the secret to prevent spoofing is interesting and reminiscent of the verification secret in the SCTP packet header: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/SCTP_packet_structure

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It's indeed a common technique, not my original idea. SCTP seems to be from 2000, but good old tcp also already does this with its sequence numbers (albeit 32-bit, so while it can't be relied on fully it does prevent amplification specifically).

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