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Comment by Akronymus | Hacker News Reader

I find myself more and more in favour of gatekeeping/keeping a low inflow of new people.

Too tired of the "include us -> we demand change -> we demand you be kicked out -> build your own place" cycle.

I used to be very against any form of gatekeeping. And lost a few really nice communities through that cycle.

I once heard that you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around and the older I get the more true that rings. I try to be _really_ particular with the communities I join and I have _no qualm_ removing either people from my communities or myself from theirs if I don't feel like we're helping each other; or more specifically if _I don't feel_ that _I am growing_ in the way _I want to grow_.

We should be kind to each other, for sure, regardless of what _Group_ we're in. Everyone should have equal access to their needs and desires. But. I am not _obligated to allow you to influence me_.

I once heard that you're the average of the 5 people you spend the most time around

It's also "you are your friends". If you're normally a mild-mannered guy that starts hanging around belligerent unscrupulous types, well, to outsiders you're one of them.

>…5 people…

i must be really unique ._.

>Too tired of the "include us -> we demand change -> we demand you be kicked out -> build your own place" cycle.

It reminds me of a modified version [1] of one of the Webcomic Name comics [2]:

grey blubs: you do not fit here

pink blubs: okay we will make our own place

grey blubs: why are you excluding us?

pink blubs: oh no

grey blubs (inside the space pink blubs just built): you do not fit here

[1]: https://twitter.com/reactjpg/status/1272042422340669440

[2]: https://webcomicname.com/post/185588404109

I’m strongly in favor of gatekeeping. I know that’s a bad word to some but that’s how you retain focus and purpose. It used to be the “normies” that you’d shield your group from, now it’s the “normies”, griefers, and the perma-offended.

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