Different user groups, different priorities. I had a colleague who was a seasoned C hacker and long-time Linux user (but not someone who'd be very interested in how a Linux distribution or package manager works). Their Ubuntu system indicated that there were updates. So, they started the update. However, it was taking too much time and they wanted to go home, so they shut down the machine during the update. Unfortunately, it left the system in a bad, (IIRC) unbootable state and the local sysadmin had to spend an hour to get the system in a consistent state again.
Is it reasonable to expect that you can just yank the chord during an upgrade? Maybe, maybe not. But users have the expectation that it is ok, there can be a power interruption after all.
This would never happen with a macOS update, which uses an immutable root file system and APFS containers to switch the root after an update. Or an OSTree system like Silverblue, Fedora IOT, or Fedore CoreOS. Traditional Linux packages fall flat on their face in such scenarios (unless you use a lot of band-aid like filesystem snapshots, set up GRUB to handle boot into the right snapshot, etc.)
I think it is uncharitable to assume that the people making macOS (or Windows) update are incompetent. They may just have a different set of requirements and constraints.