Go to therapy. Seriously. Helping you work through your mind not doing what you want is literally their profession. I've found it incredibly helpful multiple times throughout my life, for lots of things vaguely similar to this.
Maybe OP is just having the reasonable response to corporate work and the rest of us are deluded.
But yeah, talking to therapists is like a cheat code OP. You'll feel better. But you might just be having a totally rational experience.
Edit: since this seems to be the wrong place to have this conversation (my mistake), I'd like to emphasize that my point is that you should seek therapy as it was suggested OP, but also to commiserate that offices are often horrible experiences.
Not all therapists are good. If you try somebody and don't connect or trust them, try to find somebody else. Internalizing stress really destroys the body, and it's important to find somebody you trust to help process it.
I would like to emphasize that I agree with you (and my original comment): Therapy is a cheat code! It will make your life immeasurably better. Everyone should do it!
Lots of bad things exist, being able to function in the face of Bad Things does not require you to deny or ignore that reality.
Poisonous spiders exist, but overcoming arachnophobia (an unusually debilitating reaction to encountering spiders) isn’t a “delusion that spiders are safe”, and won’t make you try to kiss a Black Widow.
Most therapists I've had recently have said something along the lines of "therapy should be temporary for most people, if you're a few months in and not seeing measurable progress then you might need another therapist." This is in keeping with my experience, which is that you make progress on whatever issue brought you to therapy, the law of diminishing returns kicks in, and it's no longer worth the time and expense.
Of course some people have more serious conditions and do need to be in therapy constantly, but that isn't the norm for most who experience mental health problems.
Also - never needed therapy? Ever? For anything? Not even a little bit? Sounds like some self examination might be in order.
No, I've never needed therapy. I self examine on a regular basis. I have generally followed a stoic philosophy of life, which means regularly working on my physical and mental wellness. I've steered clear of unhealthy addictions and other problem generators. Therapy is just one tool in a large toolbox of mental health.
What do you do if part of your condition is that it is really hard for you to connect with and trust people?
Trust is also a push-pull thing in the first place, so going in with an honest attempt can help you gauge your reaction before learn who to trust.
I struggle to believe that's actually what they said. That sounds more like your interpretation of what they said, and in particular, a funhouse mirror description of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.
What do you mean by that? A delusion is often a symptom of a mental health issue, something doctors treat to get rid of, so I don't understand it's use in this context.
Dan Lyons wrote the fake Steve Jobs blog, Disrupted, and was one of the writers on Silicon Valley.
I've literally just been through this, and I can 100% say it actually helped. I'm still on the drugs but I've got just enough tools to create just enough minor delusions to ride out the current funk and get to a better place where I can come off the drugs. I'm pretty glad I caught it in time as I can totally see what that level of stress/anxiety/depression does to people and I'm particularly vulnerable to it.