Internet dating is interesting, because it re-arranges peoples priorities in weird ways for both men and women. As you've seen, women, when given a checklist of items that includes looks, hobbies, taste in music/movies/literature, money, etc. will (consciously or otherwise) take money as the most reliable indicator of the qualities that they consider most important (confidence, primarily). I'm extremely surprised that younger women are making the "money over other qualities" choice, though...in my experience women in their twenties are still looking for other qualities than "good provider" (like "rides a motorcycle", "has tattoos", "treats me like crap and looks good doing it", which funnily enough are also proxies for confidence, just expressed in a different and less productive direction). But maybe with the economy in the shitter, priorities get more focused. I dunno.
Of course, it goes both ways, and women are not at all the only ones to be made more shallow by the Internet dating thing. Men, when looking at a concise snapshot of a woman look at the pictures, look at whether her answers are sexy or not, check for fatness, and pretty much go from there. Things are tough all over, and Internet dating is frustrating for women, just like it is for men...maybe moreso, because women have to contend with the career Internet daters: Guys who look good on paper, and are looking to get laid by as many women as possible. There are a few women in this category, as well, but I think they're operating a bit differently.
Anyway, there have been studies that have shown that as a mans salary increases, women can overlook more and more negative qualities, like being short.
But "make more money" is not really the ideal answer. As you've noted, the women who are consciously making this choice are not women you want in your life, particularly in your youth when you still want to have flexibility to try new things--starting a company, for example, when you have people depending on you is much harder and riskier, and it effects your decisions and your ability to be "all-in" on a new business. So what is?
noodle is spot on: Meet more women in real life. Chemistry is a surprising thing. Put yourself in the position to meet lots of new people--activities like sports or theatre, volunteering, a part-time job working with the public (bartenders meet a lot of girls, though you've ruled out that type of girl, but there are others: baristas do almost as well, record stores used to be a great place to meet girls, but the record store is a dead and dying model...maybe an Apple Store--something cool enough to not be "that guy that works retail"). You'll be surprised by how many girls take a liking to you, once you're interacting with them on a daily basis. For one thing, your confidence goes up, and for another, chemistry has a chance to work up close, where it has no impact on the Internet (and when you meet girls from the Internet, odds are good there simply isn't any chemistry there--in real life you'd know it before you ever even asked her out, because you wouldn't have liked her and she wouldn't have given you any signals that she liked you, and you wouldn't have wasted your time or hers with a fruitless date and conversation).
And, of course, self improvement is good, too. If you find yourself thinking the only girls who have time for you are too chubby for your tastes, check your own waistline and get in shape. If you find they're too dumb and poorly read, make sure you're hanging out in places where folks are smart and well-read and reading good books yourself. This is another weird side-effect of Internet dating: You begin to think you need to find someone exactly like you. Same books, same music, same movies, same hobbies, etc. And that's probably not at all a positive thing. When you meet people in real life you don't know what music they listen to, what books they read, and what hobbies they have, until after you've already discovered that you get a little flushed when you see each other.
For what it's worth, on paper I'm epically unpopular with the girls--I tried Internet dating and was monumentally disappointed by the results. I reckon I'm just not very photogenic. But in real life, with face to face meetings, I've found that about a third of the girls I'm attracted to are almost immediately reciprocally attracted to me (even among girls I'd consider well "out of my league" looks-wise). I'm not particularly wealthy (yet), and I'd never wear or say anything to give off "wealthy" vibes (I wear plastic shoes from PayLess, for example, and I've been told that a large percentage of women look at a mans shoes right after his face), so it's not the money factor. But, I do think confidence has something to do with it, and you don't need proxies for confidence in the real world...people can immediately see if you're confident or not.