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Comment by drpotato | Hacker News Reader

Mate, if you haven’t already, go talk with a therapist. I’ve struggled with avoidance my entire adult life – avoiding awkwardness, pain, risk, “bad”emotions, difficult conversations, conflict – and talking with a professional has really helped me.

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Much like making new friends past university, therapists are a crapshoot. Some simply aren't a good fit or have poor sofa-side manner or fail to develop a sense of trust.

If the therapy is part of an employer funded benefit, you also only get a limited number of sessions, and only with the employer-approved provider.

Also, your employer funded therapist will likely have a specific mandate to basically help you get back to work, meaning no longterm solutions or help, only bandaids.

Maybe I'm lucky, I work for $LARGE_CORP_WITH_GOOD_BENEFITS and Aetna covers a non-tiny number of independent mental health practices with a small copay per session. Are there many companies with therapists on the payroll? I can't imagine feeling comfortable in that setting.

Do you know of examples where this was the case? I've never heard of therapists having any such mandates.

That’s not how that works. The employers don’t directly employ therapists.

Plug for Lacanian psychotherapy.

Lacanians are focused, disciplined, and smart. There aren't many of them, either.

Dig around, read a little about Jacques Lacan; if it piques your interest, give it a shot.

Have you seen a Lacanian analyst yourself? If so—what are the sessions like?

Interesting. Though I've got very little interest in Lacan's work itself, I could see this being a pretty good filter for finding smart/disciplined therapists who are able to address more... abstract concerns (then again, maybe it's better for some of us to be forced out of abstract territory for therapy).

Any tips on what type of therapist (psychologist, therapist, counsellor, etc.) and/or treatment you found effective? Sounds like talk therapy -- but did you go through other stuff as well?

I recommend psychoanalysis. It’s the only thing I tried that helped, and it helped a ton.

AMA if you have questions.

Lift weights, run, get more sunlight/vitamin D, and go on walks in nature.

Talk to a licensed therapist with a PhD or PsyD that specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). There are masters level therapist, however most of them don't have as much training as people with PhD's or PsyD's (it can be hit or miss with masters level clinicians). But really it's about finding someone that you can connect with.

CBT focuses on challenging behavior that goes against your goals and building an arsenal of cognitive tools to maintain behavior that helps you achieve your goals.

It's what most people with these kinds of problems need.

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