Hacker News Reader

Comment by genewitch | Hacker News Reader

I find this extremely hard to believe. I, too, try very hard to not get upset at "service workers", but at a certain point, if someone has a bad attitude with me i'll eventually give it right back. This has only happened a few times, off the top of my head: support at ISPs a couple of times, creditors who were harassing me without reason, and one time extremely rude and racist people at a California School transportation office.

Sure, i probably could hang up, turn the other cheek, whatever. And i'm sure my responses/actions made them no nevermind.

You might be as stoic and nonplussed as you claim, but we're all the heroes of our own stories, or something.

View on HN

>You might be as stoic and nonplussed as you claim, but we're all the heroes of our own stories, or something.

I prefer the terms lazy and non-confrontational, myself. But no, my first response to undue difficulty isn't to lash out. Better to save my energy and time and just hang up, walk away, etc.

I'm the above in part because: I'm certainly no hero and don't expect my words to magically fix the cable industry or have some insularly bigoted person see the light of day. There are others who spend full time+ attempting to do such feats with varying success. Some may find that lack of resistance as tacit approval of the current norms, and they may be right on a subconscious level. But I simply don't have the energy or will to care 99.9% of time with so many other things demanding my attention.

I don't see myself as some paragon of patience turning the other cheek, I just say to myself "I don't have time to deal with this" and run away (metaphorically speaking. Mostly)

Quick comment to help explain why this is getting some downvotes (in my best guess): The part where you say you try to treat service workers with respect but have your limits is fine / personal experience / probably broadly relatable, but the parts that are basically calling BS on someone for claiming they never lose their cool in such situations is… presumptuous and personal.

Some people really have the ability to keep their cool (for one reason or another, trained or personality-driven).

Personally, I’m with you, but, I think, making progress on becoming more like the person you’ve replied to.

I'll echo the parent commenter's anecdotes. I'm 43, so I've undoubtedly been exposed to many rude service workers in my days. Honestly, though, I can't remember a single incident. Perhaps that is a clue to my ability to respond kindly, or decently at the very least, and then move on. I'm not trying to "kill them with kindness", I just deliberately avoid confrontation and try to treat people like I'd want to be treated. Golden rule and all that.

Everyone has bad days, and some people are just plain assholes; that doesn't mean you have to treat them poorly, whether provoked, deserving, or otherwise.

This would make sense as an objection if the taxi driver had specifically been asked to be a dick, to test the candidates. I'd assume they have some idea that the taxi driver is a fairly reasonable person (and apparently they know him well enough to trust his judgement).

To be fair, the comment you were replying to was strictly a response to someone's personal claim, not about the taxi driver scenario in particular

English is a tricky language, and in my reading of GP i was incredulous at the word "never", especially since service workers can be in bad moods or stressed and that becomes, to you (or me, or GP), external stressors.

Maybe i'm a bad person?

Oh, I think you are right there. I can't think of any times I've been rude to a worker off the top of my head, but I'm sure if we went over my life with a thin tooth comb we could find some instances. So it should be unusual that for an otherwise friendly candidate, this just happens to be the day when they have an unfortunate interaction.

>... if someone has a bad attitude with me...

It seems pretty obvious to me that the premise is supposed to be that the driver is courteous and professional, and they just see if the person treats the driver decently, or like trash because they feel they're above them.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com