We've been perpetually informed than men and women are the same from the neck up for decades, and a Google employee (James Damore) was even fired for pointing out that men and women differ in their preferences, attitudes, and social behaviors.

That it is now OK to acknowledge those differences when it makes men look bad is quite the standard to set.

I mean, which is it? Are men and women the same or are they different (on average)?

At best, the competition is a symptom of the real (alleged) problem of toxic masculinity: too many men. Specifically an environment where men are systematically favored over women for sexist reasons.

That Google is suffering under such a system is a claim which needs defending.