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Comment by fxtentacle | Hacker News Reader

Great story :)

I'm guessing it will have a happy ending because there's a thinking human on the other side. This is government, not a private megacorp.

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I honestly can't tell if this is satire.

Yeah, it must be satire, or maybe someone straight out of uni and still waiting for the reality check.

Is the US government really that bad? I hear Americans complain about it all the time but from my experience in the UK the government is mostly competent most of the time.

It's vast and unpredictable.

Example: Two weeks ago I re-entered US as a citizen. Several people ahead of me smoothly went through the border control line. I was 'randomly' chosen for inspection by border patrol, an agent fabricated a story that a dog alerted, and I was forcibly strip searched where yet another agent fabricated he saw a 'plastic baggy' coming out of my ass. This 'evidence' was used to cuff and shackle me and drive me all over the state, while the government failed to find a doctor to anally probe me against my will. A warrant was even written by a crooked agent testifying this absolute bullshit. Government incompetence cost me 16 hours of my life, cuffed and shackled and mocked by doctors and agents publicly in waiting room of multiple hospitals. After two agents examined my feces to make sure there were no 'drugs' I was released, sans the discharge paperwork that was stolen from me and sans the affidavit of the testimony the agent wrote which he conveniently neglected to hand to me when he served me the warrant.

Will you end up like the guy in front of me, smoothly going through, or will you end up cuffed and shackled while agents try to get you anally probed. It's anybody's guess.

Rough.

If there are government agents out there that do that sort of thing as a matter of course, they should be prosecuted without mercy and imprisoned for decades as the criminals they are, if not lined up and shot at dawn.

Nah, prosecutors are in on the game. They don't prosecute their friends and colleagues unless there is big enough media presence or they have something to gain from the process. Usually it is well tied corrupt, nepotistic system with even the judges involved.

If the corruption is deeper that just means more officials deserve to be imprisoned for decades. The only reason not to shoot malicious prosecutors at dawn is we can't be entirely sure we have the right ones. Official malice is a threat more dangerous than an invading army.

They have done much worse than this at this port of entry (Nogales) along with their friends at Carondelet Health Network (Nogales/Tucson). Refer to federal case 4:16-cv-00334-CKJ filed in US District Court of Arizona:

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'31. Even though prior searches resulted in no evidence of internal drug smuggling, the CBP Agents and Dr. Martinez continued the intrusion on ***’s body without her knowing, willful consent and without a warrant. Case 4:16-cv-00334-CKJ Document 1 Filed 06/08/16 Page 7 of 17

- 8 - 32. In fact, Dr. Martinez, a male physician, entered ***’s room and, after asking a few cursory questions, brutally invaded her body on a warrantless and unjustified search for contraband. 33. Dr. Martinez forcefully and digitally probed ***’s vagina and anus. 34. *** had never before been to a gynecologist and, for the remainder of her life, will always remember that her first pelvic and rectal exams were under the most inhumane circumstances imaginable to a U.S. citizen at a hospital on U.S. soil. 35. *** was shocked and humiliated by these exceedingly intrusive searches. That an audience of CBP Agents and Holy Cross staff observed her being probed compounded her feeling of degradation. 36. No drugs were found inside ***, who was then discharged from Holy Cross and transported, by CBP, back to the Port of Entry. 37. *** was released from custody without any charges at approximately 8:00 p.m., only after enduring roughly seven hours of dehumanizing, invasive and degrading searches. 38. Throughout the unreasonable searches of ***’s body cavities, she continually denied smuggling drugs internally and continually refused consent for each search. 39. At no point during the searches of *** did the CBP Agents obtain a warrant authorizing a search of her body

The searches conducted by the CBP Agents, Holy Cross and Dr. Martinez injured *** physically, mentally and emotionally. Her labia, vaginal opening, and anus were left raw and sore and she felt violated, demeaned and powerless as a result of the searches

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This has been going on for YEARS. That case was filed in 2016. I don't link the actual report here, which I have downloaded from PACER, but it names the patient specifically so I cannot include it here without doxxing. Using the case number you can find it in PACER yourself.

While I was at the hospital, one of the agents (CBPO 'Peterson' from Nogales Port of Entry) even joked to me he had recently done this to a trans man with a surgically placed penis. They accused the penis of being a drug smuggling apparatus and did this presumably to fuck with them for being trans. A SCBPO 'Sherry' from Nogales Port of Entry, the person in charge of taking me to the hospital, bragged to me about being paid $110/hr while working overtime taking people to the hospital on these searches, mentioning other innocent people who he had subjected and 'lamenting' the 'last guy' was detained for 3 whole days. His counterpart 'Peterson' bragged of buying a ~100k truck with the pay.

I don't know what to say except that the death penalty is too light a sentence for government agents guilty of offenses like that.

In matters of finance the government gets it right eventually - but it can take its sweet time getting to that eventually.

Amusingly one of the “nicest” government arms to deal with is the IRS.

The IRS is quite ok to deal with. When I was freelance i called them a few times and always got somebody to explain the situation in a competent manner. That’s better than calling support at most private companies.

As a Canadian who’s (very) thankfully becoming American I can guarantee you that American government is very incompetent. At least in comparison to a Commonwealth one. The wait times, the level of uncaring, the general attitude was jarring when I first moved here.

I even worked as for a few years for the gov, and the bureaucracy is even worse inside!

Serious curious question. Why would you want to become American if you’re Canadian?

Hell, Canadians usually correct me by saying ‘Canada is in America too’ when I tell them I’m ‘Mercian.

> Canada is in America too

Even Brazil is in America. This is why I dislike using the term "American" when referring to US citizens, it's hopelessly ambiguous: are you talking about the country or the continent?

Among native English speakers, “American” almost always means someone from the United States. That’s partly because, unlike every other country, the US doesn’t have a convenient adjective for its residents.

However, after a few years in Central America I’ve broken myself of this usage. Spanish has an adjective for US people (aside from gringo, etc.) that I can use in Spanish, and when speaking English I find some other phrase. Note also that for many people in South and Central America “America” is what US people call “the Americas”: one continent, not three.

The problem is that the adjective “United Statian” is a mouthful; Yankee (my dad’s favorite) unfair; gringo refers (used to?) to Italians in Argentina.

United States doesn't have an adjective. Colombian would be nice, but its also taken and now problematic.

>The problem is that the adjective “United Statian” is a mouthful

Even that can be confusing. United states could also refer to Mexico, which has the actual name "United Mexican States". Someone from Mexico can rightly call themselves from united states.

I have never heard a Canadian say that, in fact as a (also) Latin American immigrant it was made clear to me that “Canada is not America you retard” in high school.

I agree with Latin Americans, for what its worth. USA is “United States of America” not “United States, America”. But its a useless fight. In Spanish Ill be precise.

Ive grown to love Americans (of all walks of life) in way I have never loved the people of any other country I’ve lived in. Not even the people of my parent’s country - the loss of which I still mourn.

Canadians, Ive loved least despite having a best friend and close family.

The IRS support line used to be pretty good about 10 years ago. I once called their help line to to clarify some complexity in filing and they routed me to a tax specialist who knew exactly how to resolve my issue and saved me $5k vs what the tax preparer did. But since their budget has been cut back a lot so that rich people have a harder chance getting audited. So its not incompetency but a deliberate effort to weaken is powers.

https://www.cbpp.org/research/federal-tax/the-need-to-rebuil...

No, my experience with government offices has actually been mostly positive so far. Not US, but Germany, though.

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