Nobody Walks Around Feeling “Valid”

Genuine feelings of justified self esteem do not come from outside oneself. They come from 1) knowing what is good and 2) living according to one's knowledge of what is good. Another way of saying this is, not only do you need to have a somewhat accurate compass to know which way to go, you also need to actually go the way you know you should go. These things together give you the justified approval of your own conscience, to some degree (incomplete approval because you don't have perfect knowledge of what is good, and you don't do it perfectly anyway because you're not a saint)

The woke fail catastrophically at this kind of stuff. They don't have any deliberate self-cultivation practice that helps them understand what is good. Not knowing what is good, they often err in favor of what feels good at the moment. They have (correct, justified) dislike/disapproval of themselves. They project their badness onto others. When others don't make the same mistake of seeing their own badness in everyone else, the woke mistake themselves for specially enlightened for being able to see the world's badness.

In a way, I think I actually do walk around feeling valid. But the feelings of others are not involved in that estimation. I am a very flawed person, a scruffy wild animal raised by other wild animals, a child raised by children who were themselves raised by children, with no adults in sight no matter how far back one looks, but I have found a process for gradually making myself better, and I am dragging myself down that path for my benefit and everyone else's benefit -- so what else would anyone ask of me? My ability to want the best for others and to do what I know is correct even when no one is looking is steadily growing. I have the justified approval of my own conscience telling me I am OK, no matter what others say.

I don't look to others to tell me I am OK. I don't want their praise. I'm the only one who knows enough to judge, anyway. I will either be happy from living up to my own expectations of myself, or put myself in misery by failing to do that. It is up to me alone.

What kind of self-improvement process am I talking about? Stuff like prayer and meditation. It doesn't matter what it's called, as long as you're gradually training your neurons and synapses and whatever other brain stuff to be more kind, compassionate, joyful in the well being of others, equanimous, generous, grateful, etc. There were good reasons to dislike religion, but I think at this point we have to wonder if we didn't throw out the baby with the bathwater when we discarded religion. The woke may serve to remind us that religion, despite its flaws, was providing great benefit.

Here's how I like to practice: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JCiVBvptZyk https://library.dhammasukha.org/uploads/1/2/8/6/12865490/the...