Austria Buys JavaScript from Brendan Eich

FTA: (is it a joke?)

Austria will also announce three changes to the language:

1. Adding a “sleep” function.

The NSA popularised Javascript to prevent aliens from learning about American military secrets through dreams. Despite its dangers, Austria will likely add a “sleep” function to annoy the American administration.

2. Assigning front-end frameworks to political parties.

Sources say that the Austrian government is still defining the mapping of frameworks to parties. However, they noted that “Angular is surely neoliberal; Vue is more of a hippie commune.”

3. Adding a “goto” keyword.

A recent study has shown, in addition, that the “goto” keyword can actually cause you to “go to” places you don’t want to go.