Having thought about this some more, I guess I have got some observations that could pass as hard-won wisdom:

I try to accept people as they are, without trying to change them

I try to treat people with respect

When debugging, I try to fix the problem I can see then deal with what's left

I try to treat someone's hurtful comment as more likely the result of a bad day or thoughtlessness, rather than malice

I try hard to avoid giving advice, and instead try to ask questions: 'have you thought about doing X?'. And I will try _really_ hard to avoid 'you should do ... ' or 'you ought to ...'

I believe that in almost all cases (I haven't yet found a counter) a decision is either easy or it doesn't matter