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That implies a good old fashioned one-time purchase

Aren't these illegal now? Or at least, frowned upon.

I don't frown upon it! I mostly don't even try subscription apps.

Edit: unless they are crazy well-priced, like this dictionary app https://apps.apple.com/us/app/dict-cc-dictionary/id327732352 (1 euro per year!)

That was definitely a joke

...what?

I imagine this is a joke based on basically how everything is now a subscription fee instead of a one-time payment.

Fantastical comes to mind first. Used to be like 5€ on the App Store, now it's 3.67€/month.

It's a shame the default has become subscription models.

I get it, if you continuously have to keep the servers running. For download and install types I also dislike it.

For Android apps I'm torn. It's actually a continuous effort to keep your app workable on new versions, but Android keeps my purchases from phone to phone.

"Accounts never expire"