> I find it… curious that the Self Service [0] website of famously brand-conscious Apple is dog-ugly, generic, and has no Apple branding whatsoever.

That's exactly why it is the way it is.

You do not want a brand associated with the highest quality and seamless integration to be associated with self-repair kits. Even under the best of circumstances, with the best of expertise, one must expect self-repair kits sold to the mass market to fail 5%? 10%? of the time?