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It’s kind of surprising how often people get a good idea for a gift and totally ignore the recipient’s cries of protest.

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When I crossed into my forties a couple of friends were insistent that I do "a big thing" of clay pigeon shooting, go karting, overnighting in a rented a cottage, get all the guys together etc etc.

I point blank refused, I was going through a serious bout of panic/anxiety attacks at the time, and this was the last thing I needed. All I wanted was a few quiet drinks and a sit-in curry with some local pals. The amount of sulking that went on for weeks afterwards was quite something to behold.

I know that feeling; people projecting what they like onto you, assuming therefore you will like it too and then getting upset when you don't. It's horrible because it feels like it's your problem - but it's really not.

It’s weird too, because if they wanted to do all that why not just make that a separate plan/trip at a later date? There’s no reason to force it on someone when your free to just go do it as a group later

Easier to justify. Maybe even a little test or shooting off steam for their own life.

It's their problem because there is absolutely nothing wrong with just asking. People want to surprise other people with nice gifts while simultaneously having no idea whether the recipient will want it.

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