There's an opportunity cost for most life decisions. Sometimes they're obscured. It's often not presented this way but for a cohort of women university and work, displaces marriage and children.
It feels like a lot of users there, instead of replacing all that time/effort/money spending (that comes with having kids) with a bunch of fun/useful/exciting things to do in life, they end up replacing it with "not having kids is my personality and the ultimate activity".
I agree with the core premise of both (not religious, don't want to ever have kids), but i ended up completely filtering out both subreddits. Even opening a random post from those subs on r/all is like stepping into some children- and parent-hating alternate reality cesspool, where their choice is the only "obvious" choice, and everyone else is "brainwashed" or an idiot.
That's an important point. I'm in the "people that just happen to be not religious" group, some people around me are religious and we have no issues getting along. These subreddits are based on a total rejection of "live and let live".
https://theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2015/nov/10/dating-gap-...
https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-gender-gap-in-marriages-betwe...
https://www.bostonglobe.com/2022/04/01/business/college-gend...
(“College educated gender gap” are the search keywords for more info on the topic)
https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/article/marriage-and-divor...
Even in the Guardian piece you're linking there:
> To me, looking at the demographic data, it doesn’t seem that there is a widespread aversion to forming serious relationships [across educational lines] – there are more and more relationships in which women have more education than their male partners.”
> She doesn’t see large numbers of educated women holding out for an educated partner, and remaining unhappily single, in other words.
In the Pew piece linked from there,
> The primary reason for the decline in the share of married couples with similar education levels is that marriages between spouses with high school or less than high school education are much less common these days — the share is down from 74% of all marriages in 1960 to 24% in 2012. In addition, adults with high school or less education are much less likely to marry. The marriage rate among this group plummeted —from 72% in 1960 to 46% in 2012.
> Just the opposite has occurred among college graduates. The share of couples in which both spouses have a college degree has risen steadily in recent decades. In 1960, only 3% of couples were in this group, the share rose to 22% in 2012.
Framing a decrease in marriage as "for a cohort of women university and work, displaces marriage and children", what I was responding to, is simply not supported by the data. The decrease in overall marriage is disproportionately due to the non-college-educated. Getting a university degree increases a woman's likelihood of marriage.
You seem a bit too into being childfull, I probably wouldn't like your shitty kids anyway.
But if couples want to, it's doesn't have to be the financial catastrophe that many make it out to be.
The pressure of living up to the "mom/dad" in the bio on your social media coupled with the cripplng fear of buying the wrong pram or not enough toys and fucking your child up for life has spawned an industry that is happy to facilitate the drive toward that financial catastrophe.