Ask HN: Is This Depression? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: Is This Depression?

7 pointsxorica6 comments

Lately I found that nothing really bring me any lasting joy anymore.

Whether it's food, entertainment, investment, sex, social outing. Like this feeling of blues in the background. Nothing intense but just there every now and then. Like my brain craves something more stimulating but nothing really excites me anymore. Background in my 40s with kids, work is fine, not the best not the worse. Wife and I make good money, things are good.

Not sure what this is, is it a funk or depression?

View on HN

It could, or it could not.

It also could be boredom, bad diet, too much or too little exercise, lack of sleep, overexhaustion, underlying medical condition, or just a phase and so on.

These questions can't be answered by: me, yourself or a random stranger on the net.

Seriously, see a medical professional. I'm speaking from experience here.

A bad analogy (and I'm not being snarky) would be: "I've got a headache, have I got brain cancer?"

Seconded, seek professional help. It worked really well for me. So much better than anything you’ll hear from randos on the net.

I personally think that what brings a lot of excitement to life are things that are new. The novelty of life gives you something to look forward to and new and exciting things that are on the way. But at some point we have gone through most of the new things that are common to most people. The hits of excitement are rare and few. I think most people go through this situation at some point.

I am not a mental health expert but I would recommend that you try new things. Most people start to focus on themselves which is fine but I would expand on this to things outside yourself. Volunteer in areas that you find important and help people that would otherwise have no one else to help them. I would also focus on we rather than me. Many people find joy in doing activities that they regularly did and enjoyed with their family as a kid. Or create new ones that you can enjoy with your family and your kids which they will look back with a smile and joy. Start to focus on WE rather that me and that will bring joy to your life.

You do seem to meet some of the DSM5 criteria for depression.

40 is the time of life when we are most prone to look back on our lives to see what we have achieved. Asking those hard and difficult questons about life in general.

Is this really it? Who am I? What does this all mean?

The busier we are with life, socialising, work and family the less time we have to question our own reality. Then suddenly the children grow up, the mortgage is nearly paid off and we have more time to think about our lives, in particular the meaning of life.

Hence, this is a time we see men in their midlife crisis reliving their youth when they did not live the life they expected as a young man. A consequence of taking on too much responsibility as a young man.

Happiness is a modern fantasy. We can search for it our entire lives but never actually reach the final goal.

Go and have a chat with a therapist and find new meaning to your life

Lasting joy?

That seems weird to me given the state of the world

Sounds like a funk

But seeing a therapist is always a good idea imo

Too much comfort? Do you know what you want?

Reply on news.ycombinator.com