In my experience, at one point I realized that my mom only really cared about me from the point of view of how it affected her. She would ask me questions about my life only so she could tell me her opinions and feelings about it. It seems that she's not really aware or capable of taking an interest in my feelings or thoughts (despite me trying repeatedly to point this out to her).

She asks me about my job and my salary, I think because it comforts her to know that I've "made it" and that she made good decisions in my upbringing. She doesn't really ask me about how I feel about my work - if I like it or have difficulties with certain elements.

When I moved (closer, then further away) the only conversations we had about it were about how nice it would be to have me closer, and how sad they would be for me to leave. She never wondered why I chose to move, or what I liked about living in one place or another.

And then there are certain things that she never asks me at all. I'm married, but she never asked me about what I like about my wife, or what our relationship is like. When me and my wife told her that we were thinking about having children, her reaction was that "she didn't feel old enough to be a grandparent".

It's strange because she obviously cares about me in some capacity. It's very important to her that we keep up communications and that I'm near... but she just seems to have this total blind spot about the total lack of connection in our relationship.

I think one of my goals as a parent is to make sure I take a genuine interest in my children and try to understand what kind of people they are.