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Comment by miltonlaxer | Hacker News Reader

I spent too many years ruthlessly perusing my career and passion for coding. Sure, I have a bunch of a money and my dream job but now what? I spent the last 8 years with a girl that I was certain I was going to marry. She cheated on me last month and I hit rock bottom. I didn't want to code anymore, I didn't even want to play games or get out of bed. I started working out, eating healthy, and improving myself however I could. I'm still not happy but I feel more alive than I have in years. I take chances, try to meet new people, say yes to things. Try taking a step back from your work and make yourself uncomfortable. Go try new things, meet new people, and put yourself into those weird and awkward positions. Your zenith doesn't stop at your career and wealth. Travel, try new hobbies, buy a fast car, start a project. Life has ups and downs. Stay strong bro.

EDIT: Ketamine might be totally fine... I just have negative feelings about it.

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> Oh and I wouldn't touch Ketamine... Go trip on acid or do some ecstasy...

Uhh, I wouldn't recommend any of those substances that casually, especially if someone's not mentally at a good state. ESPECIALLY ecstasy - it can easily be neurotoxic if you don't know what you're doing, and leave you with permanent brain damage or death.

Also quick addendum - I'm not at all saying that these substances can't be amazing and helpful in the right situation... That last part is key. If you are well aware of the various risks (hyperthermia leading to death, serotonin syndrome due to interactions with SSRIs/MAOIs, "Suicide Tuesdays") etc then you may be better read and aware, but if these terms are foreign then please don't try such "hard" substances (MDMA is a stimulant after all).

Oh, and all this is not accounting for the risk of getting car/fentanyl cut in your tablet.

I have always been negative about Ketamine but I likely misunderstand it. After some research, it sounds okay. I'm not a big fan of using any substance as a solution to a problem but I understand why people do. I am not an expert and you can forget I said anything

I'm terribly sorry to hear how she treated you. It's a cliche, but as someone who has spent years recovering from such an experience, it's about her not you. It's amazing how hard things make us stronger, we'd never ask for them, but they also bring us places we may never have gotten to without the adversity.

It sounds like you're on a good path though, Stay strong bro.

Are you saying that having tried Ketamine as a cure for depression yourself or do you just have a bad image of the drug in your mind? Just curious because I would absolutely not suggest someone who is depressed take LSD, but there is growing evidence that ketamine can help specifically with depression.

If you waited 8 years to marry her, I'm not surprised she moved on...

cheating isnt moving on, its cheating.

>Oh and I wouldn't touch Ketamine...

I'm curious: why not?

Nice to hear you were able to get over it -or at least take the steps to eventually do. Inspiring honestly, keep at it.

Just a guess but probably saw lots of friends abuse special-k ( as did I ) and saw what it did to them while they were on it.

I think therapeutic ketamine is a different beast.

This is all speculation.

Selfish question to sharing such intimately: what are you doing to meet new people?

I started by reconnecting with anyone I could. Many of them are not people that I would previously consider being friends with (hence why we stopped talking). This isn't a great solution but it might put you in good situations.

Try going to social settings like downtown and not think too much about how "These are not my type of people" or "I don't want to be out partying all the time". You have to go out and approach people to meet new friends. It's uncomfortable and awkward. You'll get rejected and need to brush it off. I've even considered going out solo and just walking around and enjoying myself.

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