The other lesson is that often the people that succeed are people who can lean into the intensity and are OK with it. For example, look at someone like Michael Jordan -- extremely competitive. But its almost as if that's their fuel. And when they leave competitive environments then they miss them. Steve Jobs and Bill Gates seem to have some of that in them too.

That said, its not something I have. I'm OK not being the world's best at something -- I'm OK just enjoying riding my bike through the park.

I agree that this should always be considered, no matter the activity. But it is hard, and games like Chess make it particularly challenging.

I will start a game of Go, completely relaxed and with the goal of staying relaxed and enjoying the game. Sometimes it works if my opponent falls behind early, but if my opponent is worthy... watch my heart rate over the course of the game.

There is no point in playing if you don't care about the outcome. I wish there was, I wish it was like making a painting, I wish it was nothing more than making something beautiful with the go stones.

It's impossible to play as much Chess as he does and truly not care, but I think he is figuring out ways to care differently, and that might be key.

also, keep practicing 24/7.