I am not proactive. I sit around and wait until I am told what to do. I never take the initiative and do what I think needs to be done by myself. This is such a deeply ingrained habit in me I don't even know how to start to turn this around.
I'd love some advice about this if you lot have any.
For example: I worked with a boss who was a micromanager. When I was first hired I was enthusiastic and ready to grab the bull by the horns. Yet, a few months into the job I simply sat back and did nothing.
On the other hand, when I find an intrinsic motivation (Daniel Vassallo talks about this), I become automatically proactive.
What I'm trying to say is, do some reflection. Are you not proactive because you're simply not motivated enough due to externa or internal reasons? Or are you not proactive because of other factors? This might give you insight into how to tackle the issue.
On the other hand, ask yourself this question: why should you be proactive? Is it an end in itself, or instrumental? If there's no goal that motivates to become proactive then is it really important to be one?
Hope this helps!
Good food for thought.
From what you've typed, it sounds like you want less of people (employer, therapist, girlfriend) hassling you over being non-proactive. Thats fine, but it is still a reactive desire.
To be more proactive, you need:
1. Some desire that leads you to initiate actions in the face of uncertainty.
2. The take actions which change things about your life even in the face of fear.
Example:
Suppose the answer is "I want more time spent relaxing". You could then make a proposal to switch to a 4-day workweek. You could then take the risk of talking to your employer about it. There is a risk your employer is unhappy about that.
> 1. Some desire that leads you to initiate actions in the face of uncertainty.
This is what really hits home for me! I think a lot of what I hide away from is uncertainty. I don't do that essential task at work that I haven't really been asked to do because I am not sure if I can do it correctly or if it is really what is needed (even when on reflection it is blatantly obvious that it is).
1. Write down the fear so you can see it clearly and take control of it.
2. Reframe your action as testing a hypothesis. That way, you know you are on the path to learn something specific.
When you identify a problem, be willing to take advice and experiment with ways to avoid or solve the problem.
Treat yourself just a little bit like a resource management game, and make sure you invest in your engines of production. This usually looks a lot like eating well, sleeping, exercising and learning regularly.
https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/type-9
I am this type and it sounds like you might be as well. If it doesn't resonate, then ignore it. If it does resonate, I'm open for any questions :)
Maybe try drugs but please don't shorten your life while chasing for something you might not need, especially if looking at retrospective.