Ask HN: What do you do to recharge after a day of work? | Hacker News Reader

Ask HN: What do you do to recharge after a day of work?

82 pointsalihm84 comments

Hi HN,

Like many of you I want to be able to enjoy my evenings after work by either reading books, spending time with friends, learning something new, working on side projects, workout, or running errands. However, I'm typically way too tired to get myself off the couch on most days to do anything and unfortunately I cannot take a nap or sleep to recharge. I'm only able to consume easy to digest content in this state. This was both the case with WFH or going to the office.

The other day I took a shower after I got back home and it was extremely recharging. I've been forcing myself to walk into the office which gives me a separation between work and home and also forces me to walk 30 mins to and from the office which is a great daily exercise.

What have worked for you that allows you to recharge after a day of work so you can use the evening for the activities you like to do?

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If, aside from tiredness, you are physically able to work out, then you must do that first. It sounds like you’re off to a good start, plus the shower to “mark the boundary” is a good idea. Yes, all suggestions are YMMV, but personally I’ve found it’s just something you have to confront and accept as you get older (I’m 39): you’re going to either hurt from working out or hurt from not working out, so might as well do the former. And specifically for the reason you’re getting at: general energy levels. While you’re still going to feel sore and tired from working out, your mind will be a little sharper and net-net you’ll have more physical energy & executive function as well.

Diet is probably also a big factor but I’ll let others (likely) expand on the other two standard prongs of this genre of advice (diet & sleep).

I've never found working out to do anything but make me more tired.

Have you done it multiple times a week for more than 3 weeks?

I've done it daily for 8 months (P90X). Still hate it. Still doesn't "recharge" me or do any of the other things fans claim it does for them.

Do you at least sleep better/rise easier?

I've done every possible combination. HIIT, free weights, bands, VR cardio, lengthy strolls. I've done each for at least months at a time. None of have had any noticeable effects on my well-being. I live in a big city with no car, so I walk a lot no matter what. Even going relatively hard on barbell squats and dead lifts just made my legs feel weaker.

I find it starts off this way, when your body isn't in the rhythm of exercise. As you exercise more your body changes, and its response to exercise changes.

When I was exercising 5x a week, for months, the exercise routine was energising.

When I did nothing during months of COVID, I gained weight, felt lethargic and found exercise draining.

I was 3-4X a week at the gym. Weights plus HIIT for over a year before covid. Nothing. Didn't help my sleep, didn't slow my weight gain, didn't boost my stamina in daily tasks. And layered on muscle soreness.

Sounds like you weren’t doing the right things in the gym. Which is fine if that’s not your thing, but your quality of life will suffer to not have a fitness component.

This could be a hormonal imbalance, such as your thyroid. Most people (eventually) react positively to such lifestyle changes, unless your biological machinery is off the rails.

That's what I thought. I requested a load of blood tests but doc didn't find anything.

I felt the same way until I tried weightlifting/strengh training.

Running, biking, swimming just left me exhausted and I hated every minute of doing it.

Strength training makes me tired and sore and while it's not great fun to do, it is something I have been able to stick with for a couple of years.

Some people love being physically active, I have never been that type of person. I will never "love" working out. But despite that, I have found some exercise that I am able to do habitually. Keep trying.

Keep in mind too that everyone is different, don't just accept random advice from strangers online about your body.

If you truly just become more tired from working out, and you're working out sensibly, then you might have a condition affecting circulation or your heart.

Your body is surprisingly good at feeling how it expects to. If you expect to feel refreshed, you might. Learning how to control your expectations to suit your goals is a bit of a superpower, but it's one you learn by practicing it, not by talking about it on the Internet.

This sounds silly, but: do less. Run slower. Do 3 pushups or whatever. Whatever you can do consistently is going to be better than doing more for a bit and then quitting.

Not bad advice. If you can do 3 pushups today, do it. Then do 4 tomorrow. Then 5. and so on. Or run for 5 minutes, then 6, then 7. Whatever you are able to do, add a little bit to it the next time. Not so much that it's a barrier. Just a bit more than you did last time. If you can stick with it, in a year, you'll be amazed where you are.

Exercise doesn't have to be a full-on "workout". Just going for a walk around the block can be enough to refresh you and break the sort of inertia of sitting still.

Yes, anything is better than nothing.

Lately, 5-10 minutes of yin yoga and 20 minutes of walking is what I can prioritise.

Just having a walking break during work is great; three people at my office do that.

A couple of years ago I switched my workout routine to the first thing in the morning. While I don't like to be tired from that during the day, it's the only thing that has worked for me.

I also don’t like to work out in the morning, but if I’ve failed to hit the gym for a week, I switch to must doing this. The same goes for anything else overdue: Laundry, dishes, accounting, homework.

In the early hours I question myself less, and I just do what I asked myself to do the night before.

This is very good for endurance cardio. Somewhat less so for anaerobic or higher power levels IMO. For those workouts you can benefit from having a meal or two in your system to stress your muscles more without being limited by energy levels.

Good point, I do try to eat a carb heavy meal the night before my workout days to have the glycogen stored in my muscles.

>I'm only able to consume easy to digest content in this state.

I have fallen into this cycle many times, my advice for if you are feeling tired is to give up that sort of content for a few weeks. In the time when you would [watch tv, game, browse reddit] just sit on the patio and watch the clouds go by (maybe with a single beer or glass of wine if you are so inclined) and let your mind wonder. It can be excruciating at first as you overcome your addition to mindless content, but after you get over that you can finally let your thoughts be free and actually relax. As you get into the rythm then you can start to shift to more productive activities like going for a walk or cooking or blogging or whatever, but the first step is to break the addiction to mindless content.

That's a good suggestion, I'm gonna take a shower and force myself to just lay on the couch or bed without any devices.

I can recommend this. I've felt like frequent internet use makes people feel they cannot allow themselves to be bored. It's much easier to pick up reddit/youtube/whatever than to sit in silence.

In the words of Bo Burnham, "Apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime".

However, that's the thing with recommendation algorithms: They always recommend you use their site. They never suggest, "Hey, you should really just relax for a bit", even when you really should. You have to make that choice for yourself, and its way more difficult when you're used to using entertainment media.

Kids.

That's it, really, and I love it. Nothing makes me snap out of it like being assigned a role from Paw Patrol by my two year old, and going off on some rescue mission. It's pure bliss.

That's nice, unfortunately not an option for me.

And it's not possible for everyone. When I had young kids, I could never put my mind back in that "I'm a kid again" mode and play their games. I tried, but it just was not there anymore. My wife could do it. My parents thought she was slightly silly, so maybe it's something I learned from them.

Some people just have that. I also suck at child's play. I've spoken to teachers and speech therapists who do, too. On the bright side, you get to be the parent who helps them feel more grown up when they're ready for that. It is a different kind if nurturing but is a wonderful feeling.

On reading your original post again, what you experienced (both being super exhausted after work, and a shower helping) resonates with my what I felt early on in my career.

Things that helped were - Take care of primary needs during the workday. Eat, drink, bathroom breaks. The basics. I could get so caught up I would forget about those things.

- More experience helps. Work is still incredibly taxing mentally, but as I've grown a bit more battle worn I don't have to second guess whether my work is good enough all the time, which is also exhausting. Being introverted, having been in the same place for a while (not to mention - being remote) also helps, I'm not being bombarded with people I don't know any more since I know them all.

- Having kids was brutal in terms of taking time and energy, but luckily it somehow came with an 'extra gear' to cope with it. Totally worth it though, I can only hope it becomes an option for you with time

- I also found that having a plan for what to eat after work was worthwhile, so I didn't have to think - just cook it and eat it.

- If something work relates is spinning in your head, write yourself an email about it and postpone it until tomorrow.

Not sure if any of this is helpful to you, but worth a shot :)

Thank you for that, I actually do most of those things and they have been helpful.

Absolutely. Kids can be physically more tiring because you're carrying them often, they create a lot more household cleanup kind of work and sometimes keep you up at night. But playing with them, reading them a book etc is such an amazing way to relax and disconnect from work. Really makes me instantly relaxed and happy just doing something simple like putting her to bed and reading a story together.

Around a year ago, just before turning 40, I started a 5 day a week body weight / calisthenics-type exercise routine, and in December I started learning how to skateboard (mostly transition / ramps, not flip tricks).

Skateboarding isn't without fairly regular minor (so far anyway) injuries, but both have been really great ways to disconnect after work.

Skateboarding, especially, is one of the more humbling endeavors I've taken on. It's hard, there's no faking it, and work is the last thing on my mind while I'm doing it.

Exercising is great too but, sometimes, I still find myself glancing at work stuff on my smart watch or phone in between exercises.

Good luck finding your "thing(s)"!

I have had the same experience picking up cycling during the pandemic - work is the last thing on my mind while pushing hard up a steep hill. Cycling comes with occasional injuries too, but is certainly less impactful than other forms of exercise. It's always encouraging to see (and often, be passed by) a much older cyclist, shows that this is a hobby that can be enjoyed for a large part of your life!

Yeah, I broke my wrist as a kid rollerblading. I do think cycling is a much better activity in terms of minimizing injuries while building cardio.

I'm always slightly puzzled by the people who bring their phones into the gym. I leave mine in the locker. Disconnect and focus on the workout.

Mine has my workouts on, which vary 'as needed'.

https://darebee.com/workouts.html

I think it depends on the type of workout. I do a powerlifting style program that has a 3 minute rest time between sets, so I like to read during them.

If I were doing cardio or a circuit style workout I would forgo my phone and concentrate on the workout.

My routine has just enough exercises that I don't always remember the reps / timing / order / proper form, so the phone serves as my reference medium. Understood and agreed though - it's ripe for distraction. I should probably just write the routine down.

Much respect for taking on skating. I bought a board and was gung-ho to get into it (at age 24) and got super scared the first time I had to bail off the board downhill. Haven’t ridden since then!

Learning how to bail the "right" way is fundamental for sure, and the type of skating and obstacle that you're skating are important variables in how you fall. I'm not very good at falling yet, so I wear full pads and a helmet.

Good luck if you decide to give it another go! There's tons of great beginner content on YouTube. Here is one of my favorite channels: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCriJKZI1CjMOlDb8b32JpJg

When I had a train commute in the before-times, the one thing I really leaned into was the train ride home. It was about 30 minutes. I used that time in a variety of ways - reading, podcasts, napping, meditating, drinking-a-beer. I let my mood dictate, I intentionally didn't over plan it. Just no work. This naturally let me slide into the non-work/dad/husband version of myself. More often than not, this recharged me, and I'd be in a good place when I walked into my home.

I admit to struggling with this with the pandemic and full WFH. I'd find myself working early and late, answering emails after hours that I really didn't need to, etc.

My solution? I bought a super cheap treadmill for my office, with a stand for my laptop. I don't really run on it. I get on it in the morning and walk for 30 to get my day started, 30 at the end to close it down. I think I still do a little too much work during this time, but it's generally prep for the day, pruning my todo list, checking out tomorrow's calendar, and so on. It's not the same as the train, but it's a lot better than having no boundaries.

Thank you for your suggestions. Yeah, as soon as our offices were open I started going in. I'm a huge fan of having that separation, getting out of my apartment, and in general seeing other people in the office. Not deliberately planning your time is a great idea.

Shower. I work from home, so the ten or fifteen minutes of shower time lets me relax my focus enough to settle into family time. Sometimes I bring a cocktail in there with me.

Honestly I didn't think showering to be so effective. Question for you, do you also shower in the morning? and if so do you shampoo/body wash in the evening? I already take a shower in the morning and kinda have dry skin, so I don't typically wash myself in the evening and just enjoy the water time.

A shower doesn't have to involve soap to be a shower. I generally stick to using soap just three times a week (M/W/F) otherwise my skin dries out. The best thing that ever happened to my skin was realizing I didn't need to use soap every day to be clean. Everyone is different so figure out what routine works best for you.

Get blood work.

Check your testosterone, fasting glucose, insulin, estradiol, cortisol, and CRP.

If any of these are out of reference range, or close to the boundaries thereof, fix them.

If you're fat, lose weight.

Chronic lethargy usually has physiological reasons, the two most common ones being insulin resistance and low testosterone. Get them checked.

I'm actually going for my yearly physical and will ask for a blood work. I typically do that once every two years but doesn't hurt to check them again.

Your doc should think of this, but add thyroid to the list. Has to be in line before adjusting any of the others the parent mentions (well, except insulin, but I'm hand-waving here).

Go for a walk. Meet up with friends. Have a date night with the SO. Work out. Have a drink (this one not every night though).

You basically just have to force yourself to do things. Also, don't work too hard. Don't care too much about work. It's easy to get stressed out and kill yourself working but that doesn't help anyone because you can't do it your whole life. Force yourself to pace your work and have work-life balance.

I typically play video games for a couple of hours, hang out with my partner, and then read in bed.

But the thing that helps me the most is looking critically at my job and figuring out whether that's the best thing for me. I'm an introvert, and I find training groups of people really draining. Being engaging with 30-50 people is really taxing on me. So I do it less now, and thus find myself having to do less recharging on a daily basis.

I'm just too mentally tired to even do that

I'm not a therapist, but I've been through a lot of therapy. If even critically looking at your job functions is mentally taxing, it sounds like you're facing burn out.

If I were in your case, I'd take a vacation and get into therapy ASAP. To me, being too taxed to evaluate your current situation is a cause for concern.

It may be that you’re working so hard at work that you’re exhausting yourself for the time you have outside of work. Especially if you’re using caffeine at work to push through when a caffeine free human would’ve been unable to continue.

Yeah, I've limited my caffeine consumption to only in the morning. I really envy friends who have the same type of demanding jobs and still have energy left for other things. They're probably genetically blissed and have more stamina.

I agree with most of the suggestions. Apart from doing something physical after work (even the commute), I try to leave a gap of 2-3 hours relaxing,before I pick up mental activities again. I.e. the interval between 16 and 19 I use to unwind, before engaging with something taxing again. Ive been mentally alert from 8 to 16, so my mind does not like if I continue straight into an engaging hobby after work. When I was younger, 20 years ago, I could get away with it, but now at 50, i feel the punishment rather quickly when i violate it. Another factor I struggle with but recognise, is not to engage too much after 2030 or so. I sometimes do so, but I invariably feel like I have been working overtime,by the next morning (which is what it is, in effect). Basically, its about learning to recognise and be aware of your energy budget - before 30, it doesnt exist, but gradually it becomes a very visible thing, when you fail to manage it. Your alcohol consumption, your late night tv or gaming, your lack of exercise, they all demand payment from you, whether you are aware of them or not :-/

Amen. I'm in my late 20s and I feel that. In college I used to be a bulldozer, and now I really feel the consequences of not eating healthy, sleeping well, drinking too much, etc right away. Have you found anything to make your sleep more restorative? It seems like as we age getting a good night sleep becomes harder.

Not working too hard and certainly not being exhausted by work at the end of the day everyday, through the year. That’s what I do. It seems like your job isn’t the right one for you. I’d suggest changing that to something less demanding. You only get 24 hours a day and a specific range of energy expenditure (physical, mental and emotional) to play with. Trying to do a lot with life and “work/life balance” doesn’t work. Something’s gotta give.

Once you find a different job, you could focus on cultivating and nurturing (note the words used) a routine before work, during work, and after work. If there aren’t clear boundaries, the cycle of being exhausted will continue. The routine could be showers, cooking, cycling, working out at home, running, yoga, meditation or activities you do with others or anything else.

I know I speak from different circumstances, and it may not be possible for you to change your job. If that’s true, then you need to reconcile yourself to this life. Don’t get swayed away by pretty pictures of people who “have it all”. It’s all a mirage that hides the ugly parts in public.

Ahhh these threads. Nothing brings hacker news together like giving strangers free advice on their health and well-being

> I want to be able to enjoy my evenings after work

Look around; are there little people identifiable as "children"?

If so, that's almost certainly it; get rid of the things and you will see a huge difference in the evenings.

Play videogames.

I struggle a little, because anything too "braindead" won't allow me to wind down, so sport is not good, my brain stays focused on the work stuff. Playing with kids has a similar problem. I love them, but sometimes it's too "easy" for me and so my brain doesn't relax.

Talking to my wife works too, but we need an entertaining topic. We spend 24 hours today together, so we run out of topic at times, for a few days, so backup solutions are needed. Videogames, kids, homes, life, work are all good topics though.

I've started going out on an ebike. Not too much effort but if I want to I can turn the motor off for a while for the exercise. The sense of speed with the wind cooling you as you pedal is a real pleasure. Half an hour does the trick for me.

Otherwise.. preparing food is a good way to mark the end of the working day.

It isn't perfect though - I suffer from the same thing. I'm less engaged with my own interests than I used to be.

Procrastination. Just do less work today to get more free time for relaxation. Obviously depends on urgency of your work.

This is not a bad idea, but instead of mindless spending time online I should find a relaxing activity

Is it physical energy or will/motivation?

If energy, then I'd question your sleep, diet, job stress level, then fitness level (in that order).

If not, then I'd question your device addiction/attention span degredation and then perceived value of alternate activities (i.e. do you REALLY want to read? Or just want to want to read?).

Well based on how I spend my weekends where I'm fully recharged and energetic to get shit done, I assume it's the lack physical energy. Cause when I have the energy and mental power I do the things that I want to do.

One difference is that if I actually had a real deadline I would deliver no matter how tired/exhausted I am, but I'm not sure that's sustainable.

I noticed at age 33ish my energy for all this stuff dropped off. Life just got more complex and my body became less resilient.

If you require a deadline to do something I'd wonder if you don't want to do it that badly. Which is okay, for things like work or even the last 20% of a hobby project. But reading.. I try to make that only for enjoyment.

I find more things I do which require will power or a deadline, the more I'm dipping into a finite resource which when expired leads to burnout.

For me the biggest change was to switch to working part time. I now work six hours a day instead of eight and don’t get mentally exhausted.

I have energy to work on my own projects or do whatever with the two free hours.

I don’t ever want to go back to full time, it’s so exhausting.

I have a hammock set up in a grove of trees in my back yard.

After a tough day, I just like to go out there and lay in it for 30-45 mins, with no phone and no distractions. Just the wind rustling through the trees and the dog laying on the ground next to me.

I started boxing few months ago. 4 times a week 8am in the morning for one hour. I also try to go to the gym 3 times a week at 8pm in the evening. I have never felt so energetic. I go to bed at around 10:30 everyday. Also in the weekend. With maybe the exception of a party night twice a month or so. I try to eat healthy, but I still have my moments with soda and crisps. 2 years ago I often went to bed at 3-4am. I was always tired and I looked like shit. I am happy now. 40 years old btw

Do you think the workouts have a positive effect on your sleep quality?

Lifting weights.

My energy levels decrease as the day goes on, so I always do my workouts and best work early in the day. By evening I'm usually very burnt out. I like to vape CBD flowers, do gentle yoga, maybe take a short walk around the neighborhood, and watch YouTube videos. Then a short meditation session and bed.

I don't have kids so my few hours after work are really just for me.

> I don't have kids so my few hours after work are really just for me.

Man, I really envy that, it's worth a million bucks a year easily. Enjoy it while it lasts, and you don't spend your days going back and forth to the daycare.

Same, I did switch my workouts to early in the morning. Not ideal since I'm kinda tired all day but that's the only time that I have the energy to workout.

as some have already mentioned, I usually like to spend time cooking. Like you, I was also feeling low energy. I spent most of my evenings laying on the sofa and watching stupid things on Netflix.

Working from home forces me to cook all my meals. Since I'm usually too busy to do it during lunch time, I was forced to cook them at the evenings. What I realized was that cooking and doing dishes took around 1 hour of my evening. More importantly than that, it became of the few moments of my day where I'm not using any phone/screens/tech.

That, by itself, gives me an extra charge. It's really liberating to let your mind disconnect from work and focus on something completely different.

Regarding workouts, I'm a morning person type. I hit the gym and swim 5x week during the mornings. But I can't stress enough how important doing something is. For me, skipping my exercise routine is the difference of a great and a shitty day.

Being someone that lives un Buenos Aires city, we Have a very strong culture of coffee shops.

The best, for me, is to slow down my brain half hour reading a book while having a coffee and a toasted bread ham a cheese sandwich in a coffee shop.

In the US coffee shops close around 5-6 PM ish. Also do you get a good night sleep drinking coffee that late in the evenings?

Scrolled through the page only to see if someone already mentioned cooking.

You have to cook for at least 3-4 people to make it worth the regular effort.

I cook 2-3 course meals at least 5 times a week.

drink wine, read, and exercise. not necessary in that order.

Drinking and playing Kerbal Space Program, in that order.

Going out with a friend for a beer/coffee. Putting on some music. Play Hearthstone.

Journaling and drawing with a nice cold beer.

As a first time father of a 2 year old, all I have to say is….you guys recharge?

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